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Author: Necole

Love Comes In Unexpected Places

Good Afternoon,

I don’t really share much on my personal life because to be quite truthful, dating in this day and age is downright hard. Finding a soulmate is even harder.

When I have intimate chats with my friends about our personal lives, I notice the common theme is where to find a good man. I always jokingly tell them, “Well, he damn sure won’t be coming out of your TV, so you won’t find him by sitting on your couch watching Netflix on a Friday night.”

Balance is important so I recommend being proactive and open-minded when it comes to dating. Aside from hanging out in places I’m most likely to meet my match, I’ve personally tried dating apps, matchmakers, and even have had close friends set me up on blind dates. I’m embarrassed to say this but one of the best dates I’ve had last year was with a guy who reached out to me through Instagram DM, and after months of brushing him off (because who really wants to admit they met someone on the ‘gram?) I decided to meet him briefly while we were in the same city. I put absolutely no effort into my presentation and came down to my hotel lobby wearing sweats. Meanwhile, he was standing there well-dressed and looking finer than his photos. What I intended to be a five-minute “Hi” and “Bye,” turned into five hours of great conversation while exploring the city, frozen yogurts, strolling through a park looking at art installations, and later dinner. I didn’t want the night to end.

That incident taught me that you really have to be open when it comes to dating if you truly want to find love. Sometimes we have this idea of what it should look like, and it will show up in a totally different package than what we expected.

This is why I love the story of Bola and Ayana we recently featured on the site. Bola pursued Ayana, who was a single mom and fresh out of a relationship, on Twitter. Although she didn’t take him serious at first, over time, the two turned from friends to lovers, and now they are inseparable.

I hope you find as much joy in reading their story as I did. Also check out the couple who met in an Uber Pool, and now they are engaged.

If you have an interesting story of how you met your match, feel free to share!



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I’m In The Press This Week (Glamour, Refinery29 & Launch DFW)

I haven’t done much press over the last two years, nor have I orchestrated a PR campaign, so I’m always very humbled and appreciative when journalists reach out to request an interview.

Over the past week, I’ve had the honor to be featured in 3 pieces that were published on Refinery29, Glamour and Launch DFW.

Here’s a summary:

1. Launch DFW : Necole Kane Goes Beyond The Web To The Center Stage

This piece was a very in-depth interview where I spoke about my failures, why it is important that I remain transparent about the ups and downs of my journey and my brand being acquired.

A standout quote:

I promised myself in 2007 that I would never send out a resume. I have not sent out a resume since 2007. Like, how cocky of me to say, but [at the time] I was like I’m tired of getting no. I’m tired of interviewing. I’m tired of proving myself. I’m not sending out another resume. And I have not had to send out another resume since then.

Click here to read more!


2. Glamour Magazine – Black Women Have Been Politically Powerful But We’re Not Your Saviors

In this piece, I was featured along with other black thought leaders on the narrative surrounding black women and their political choices.  Read it here


3. Refinery 29 – 24 Of Our Favorite Entrepreneurs Namecheck The Businesswomen You Should Follow



This was one of my favs for International Women’s Day because I had the chance to honor an entrepreneur that I look up to.  It should be to no surprise to anyone that follows me that I chose Myleik Teele, the Founder of Curlbox.   

A key quote from the piece:

As a Black woman, entrepreneurship can feel isolating. Sometimes it’s hard to find a support system of women who can guide you through huge business moments like mergers and acquisitions or even securing an investor. Myleik is a serial entrepreneur and doesn’t hoard the information she knows and the lessons she has learned from creating two successful companies. I always joke around and call her the ‘Oprah for entrepreneurs’ because she really is breeding and birthing a new generation of young bosses through her valuable advice, resources, and retreats.

Read more here!

My Battle With Depression: A Discussion On Mental Health

Do you sometimes find yourself smiling on the outside while crying on the inside?  Are you suffering in silence?

That was me for a very long time.

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen my recent video where I opened up about my long history of depression.

It took a lot for me to post this to my timeline today because depression and mental health isn’t the easiest subject to open up about. People have a perception of what it should look like, so if you have certain things, reached a certain level of success, come from a certain background, or look a certain way they feel like it shouldn’t affect you. When @shantidas404 and @jrbland asked me to be a part of the #silencetheshame panel on mental health and minorities in Atlanta, I knew it would take a level of transparency I wasn’t sure I was ready for and I’d have to uncover things that I had been swept under the rug. But it was healing in a sense, and your DMs, emails, and messages since then has let me know that I’m not alone. I’m much better now than I was years ago because I’ve spent the last 2-3 years really pouring into myself and working to be the person i always knew I could be despite my life circumstances. This was such an important conversation and I’m really thankful for @kerihilson for opening up and sharing her story which left the door wide open for me to do it more comfortably ☺️ thank you @jrbland @shantidas404 @dr_ayanna_a and @the.atl.lpc for such a great no judgement panel on an important topic we should talk about so much more. (Link in bio)

A post shared by Necole (@hellonecole) on

During the Silence The Shame panel in Atlanta a few weeks ago, I revealed for the first time that I have been battling depression for a very long time.

“I am the strong friend,” I revealed as I choked back tears. “And when you are the strong friend, you have to be there for everyone. So I go into a shell when I’m going through something and no one can reach me. I isolate myself from everyone until I am able to be the strong friend again and that is not healthy. It’s like you are filling up all of these cups, but no one is filling up yours.”

I also added, “It affects my dating life because people fall for the idea of you and those happy pictures that they see on social media. But are you going to stand with me when I am hurting?”

My bouts of depression are deeply rooted in many things I experienced during my childhood, as well as isolation and abandonment issues as a result of me losing a lot of family members, including my parents.

It took a lot for me to share this because depression/mental health isn’t the easiest subject to open up about. People have a perception of what it should look like, so if you have certain things, reached a certain level of success, come from a certain background, or look a certain way, they feel like it shouldn’t affect you. During the panel, singer Keri Hilson also shared her story of depression, which resulted in her taking a 7-year hiatus from the music industry.

“Literally 7 years of my life have been a battle with depression,” she said.  “It all just kind of spiraled for me, and became something I had never been through, I had never recognized myself as a person who can’t pick themselves back up.”

Silence The Shame founder Shanti Das also revealed that despite being a top executive in the music industry with a 500K salary and everything she could ever dream of, she went into a dark downward spiral two years ago. “It was the first time I had ever contemplated suicide.”

Her battle with mental health led her to launch Silence The Shame, and now she tours the country encouraging discussions around minorities and mental health. Atlanta based therapists Vaughn Gay and Ayanna Abrams were also a part of the panel, and gave really helpful insight on how to be aware of the early signs that you should seek help, and a ton of resources for those people who have no idea where to start to find the best therapist for themselves.

The panel and being able to discuss mental health openly in a no-judgement zone was healing in a sense. I am happy to admit that I am much better now than I was years ago and my bouts of depression don’t happen as often.  I’ve spent the last 2-3 years really pouring into myself and working to be the person I always knew I could be despite my life circumstances. Changing my brand into one that centered around empowerment and positivity helped tremendously as well. A therapist once told me that I was experiencing second hand PTSD from all of the negative and toxic news that my former site was covering which would cause me to go to a deep dark space more frequently.

This was such an important conversation and I’m really thankful for successful women like Shanti Das and Keri Hilson for opening up and sharing their stories, which left the door wide open for me to do it more comfortably.

I received so many DM’s, emails, and messages since posting the clip, which let me know that I’m not alone. Therefore, I wanted to share the full video of the panel with you. If you’re experiencing sadness, isolation, or going through depression, you are not alone. I hope this video gives you comfort and hope that there’s light ahead. Please feel free to share it, if you believe it may help someone else, and if you have been touched by the message, let me know.




P.S. This event was held in support of the second season of James Bland’s “Giants” series which tackles mental health in one of the main characters. I watched an episode a year ago and ended up binging the entire season.  Check it out on Issa Rae’s youtube if you get the chance.

The Biggest Mistake I Made In My Career

Photo credit: Christopher Alvarado

Good Morning,

We’re all on paths to become bosses in our own rights. And what makes us great girl bosses is not the fact that we are good girls who never mess up. It’s the fact we’re human women bound to make mistakes, especially in our 20’s and 30’s. The good news is that we are not defined by the mistakes we make, but rather how we recover from them.

On the site, we recently shared 11 Women’s Biggest Career Mistakes They Made in Their 20’s. I too have had my share of mistakes in my career, some of which have unfolded before you in the public eye. As many of you know, I ended my first site, Necole Bitchie almost three years ago. It wasn’t a mistake that I ended the site. I had outgrown the content because it no longer represented the woman I had become nor wanted to be. The greatest mistake I made in my career was that in all the years I operated that site, I never once prepared for what would happen once the site ended. In short, I didn’t have an end goal.

There are a lot of courses, workshops, and seminars that teach you the art of starting a brand, but there isn’t as much emphasis on creating an exit strategy. Even while I was operating Necole Bitchie, I was approached for a seven figure acquisition. Clearly that deal never happened, but had I agreed to sell the site, all of my ducks weren’t in a row to negotiate a good deal that favored me.

My biggest advice for entrepreneurs and women starting businesses is to know what your end goal is so that you have a clear road map to reach your destination, whatever your goal may be. Do you want to achieve funding? Do you want to expand into products or become a huge media empire? Do you want to merge businesses with another brand or eventually be acquired? These are important questions that I did not ask myself while running my old brand.

Since I did not plan for my exit, I paid dearly for it financially, mentally, and and emotionally. But guess what? I did what a girl boss does and I learned from my mistake. When I finally recuperated and was able to start the brand xoNecole, I began with an end goal in mind that I did not have for Necole Bitchie, and that was to come out with a major acquisition or investment.

To prepare, I created a business plan, marketing deck and kept up with my companies profit and loss reports monthly. Preparation is so key! You have to be ready so that when the the opportunity comes you don’t have to get ready. My big opportunity came quicker than I could have ever imagined it would. Two years after launching xoNecole, my brand was acquired by none other than Girls Trip producer Will Packer, which is a testimony on its own that I can’t wait to share with you at a later date.

I couldn’t be more proud of my decision and am so thankful that it was a black man who saw my vision and the value of my brand and stepped in to help me expand and take it to the next level. I am even more proud that we are black-owned.

I think it’s important that you read our article and learn about mistakes other women made early on in their career. Read them to not only avoid making the same bad decisions, but to know if you’ve already gone down that same path, you’re not alone.

So check out these women’s mistakes and let me know in the comments section if they resonate with you!


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My Unexpected Live TV Appearance Taught Me The Importance Of Having Closet Staples


So last week I was surprised with a last minute opportunity to be a presenter at the BET Social Awards. And by last minute, I mean fly to Atlanta from NYC the next day to present. OMG!

Can I be honest? The first thought that went through my head was not ‘What am I going to say?’ It was ‘What am I going to wear?!’

You’re probably waking to that same thought this morning too lol. There was no stylist to help me, like there’s probably no stylist to help you this morning. No, you’re not going to be photographed on a red carpet, but regardless of what you have going on today, the act of figuring out what to wear is pretty stressful.

9 times out of 10, if I’m not getting dolled up for an event, meeting or outing with friends, I’m dressed head to toe in my favorite athletic gear. I know I can look fly at the drop of a dime, but because I go to the gym daily, I just prefer to be comfortable in my leggings and sneakers.

That being said, I’m so proud that I had staple pieces in my closet from years back that I was able to pull for the award show and be red carpet ready. And I think that’s important! It’s necessary to have a wardrobe that can speak for you before you even open your mouth. Not necessarily because to appease the superficiality of this society, but more so to enjoy the act of presenting your best self to the world. It feels good to have the option to present ourselves the way we want to be interpreted.

We recently posted an article on the site about 30 closet staples every woman should have before 30. The story got a lot of attention from our xoNecole readers. Do I have all of these closet staples? Hell no! But I do think there are some amazing pieces to add if you’re looking to build a wardrobe that shows off the best you have to offer.

And by the way, my last minute award show look came together nicely.

I took a risk and mixed patterns from two separate statement making pieces.

I didn’t know if the final product would be a good look or a bad look but I knew it’d be a look. And it actually ended up being a hit.

So if you’re looking to make sure you have some statement pieces in your wardrobe for those crucial style moments, check out this article!



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I’m Featured On 21Ninety: “How This Entrepreneur Works Less To Be Successful”

Hi Guys!

I am featured in 21ninety this week.  It’s one of my favorite features because it reflects my current lifestyle and self-care regimen as an entrepreneur.

Read it below:

“I don’t work as much as I used to,” says Necole Kane, CEO and Editor-in-Chief of xonecole.com. And that’s a conscious decision that has brought her even more success.

“When I had a celebrity gossip site, I spent every waking moment of the day working,” she says, “You might think you’re scrolling social media casually, but you’re looking for a story. Every phone call was work related.  Every person and friend I knew was a business associate. I never turned work off for eight years. I didn’t even date. So, when I created my new brand, for the first year I saw myself going down that same path. I remember saying to myself, ‘This is a mistake, this isn’t what I want for my life.’ But it’s now going on two years since I’ve launched and I’ve rebranded and re-strategized.”

Her ability to work less and work smarter comes from putting people in place who she trusts to help run it and also changing her goals and expectations to be flexible.

Now Necole doesn’t put pressure on herself to put out a ton of posts each day. She focuses on quality over quantity and tells herself a few less posts is ok. And it is.

“Now that I’ve switched the way I work on my new site, I’m living my life in such a way that sometimes I wake up and I’m like ‘I love my life,’” she says, “This is how I envisioned my life.”

Necole’s site is now focused on women empowerment and lifestyle. It serves to empower and inspire young women to live their best lives through personal essays about relationships, beauty, fashion and career advice.

Before this current iteration, many knew Necole as a “gossip blogger,” but her path to where she is now is anything but traditional.

After going to school in Maryland for Electronic Media and Film, Necole always thought she would be a screenwriter or producer in Hollywood. But after her mom passed away, she got writer’s block.

“All the stories and creative energy I had before, I couldn’t channel,” she says, “So I was living with my aunt at the time in a small room in Maryland and I started a blog to pass the time and to keep my mind busy.”

From there, her blog took off and surpassed anything she could have imagined. But it was important for her to take a step back and create xonecole.com in order to keep her brand true to what she wanted.

Necole BIO.jpg


And with her mission to spend less time working, she’s able to create time for friends and family like never before.

“I missed weddings, birthdays, funerals and a ton of milestones before, so when I left my old site I wondered if my friends would still be there,” she says, “I eventually realized that if they weren’t there, I had no one to blame but myself. Sometimes you have to realize what kind of friend you’ve been to others and be the friend you want to have.”

Beyond just relationships, self-care for Necole comes in the form of eating healthier (it helps her mood and productivity) and competing in fitness competitions.

Self-care has been a priority that she’s found a routine for in her current home in Arizona, but with a career transition and move to New York on the horizon, Necole’s now having to think about what self-care looks like and how she will practice it in a new city. But one thing remains — it’s still a priority for her.


Each morning, Necole gets up and turns on her diffuser with peppermint. Before she leaves bed, she has a moment where she prays and centers herself by setting intentions for the day.

“A practice I use is an intention planner or intention map,” she says, I put it out in the universe and say ‘I’m going to get this opportunity, I’m going to get this increase in income,’ and state how I want my day to go, even with personal relationships.”

Then she’ll make eggs and oatmeal for breakfast, drink between 8 and 32 ounces of water and open her blinds.

“Opening my blinds is the best part of my day,” she says, “I close them every night so I can open them again in the morning. Letting the sun in really makes my day.”

All of this happens before Necole plugs into what the world is doing.


Then she can indulge in some self-care through a workout. She jogs for 30 minutes each day, and ends the day with a good weightlifting session.

As far as hair and makeup, Her go-to for foundation is Laura Mercier’s Candleglow Soft Luminous foundation. I also like their translucent setting powder (although she’s looking for a talc-free alternative) and their face illuminator powder in a golden, shimmery shade.

“And if you’re on a budget, Sephora samples will save your life,” she says, “I couldn’t justify me spending money on that foundation without me trying it thoroughly first.”

At night, she uses Aveeno face wipes to remove makeup and leave her skin moisturized. She also swears by Belif’s The True Cream- Moisturizing Bomb. Those, paired with St. Ives face scrubs and the Neutrogena acne wash, keep her skin smooth, hydrated and healthy.

Throughout the day, she uses Calm.com to listen to waterfall sounds.

“I love that as background music when my mind is all over the place,” she says, “It’s like meditation. That gets me back centered.”

And to-do lists keep her on track. Her favorite to-do list app, Momentum allows you to you open your browser and see your tasks for the day.

But something that dictates every decision Necole makes in life is a simple quote, “If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive.”

It allows her to contribute to her legacy in a positive way, even when she’s offered good money for a deal or a job opportunity — some things are just not worth it. And there’s unlimited value in knowing what will move your life in the direction of your dreams.

Necole High res bio 2.jpg

 Thank you Christine for the amazing piece.
Original posthttps://21ninety.com/how-this-ceo-and-editor-in-chief-works-less-to-be-more-successful

[News] Will Packer Media Acquires xoNecole

Via Variety

Entertainment production firm Will Packer Media has acquired xoNecole, a lifestyle website focused on urban millennial women created and run by blogger Necole Kane.

WPM founder and CEO Will Packer, whose producing credits include “Girls Trip,” “Ride Along,” “Think Like a Man” and “Straight Outta Compton,” said the addition of xoNecole (xonecole.com) is aimed at boosting WPM’s direct connection with its audiences. In addition, he’s look to adapt content produced by xoNecole for TV series and film projects.

“It fits perfectly with what I’m doing with my company,” said Packer. “I was looking for someone I could partner with who has a highly engaged audience and speaks authentically to them.” He added, “Necole is amazingly gifted in her ability to connect with women and deliver much-needed engaging, smart and empowering content that is aspirational and impactful.”

Financial terms of the deal, which closed in late 2017, weren’t disclosed. The staff of xoNecole will remain located in New York (where Kane is based), L.A. and Atlanta.

WPM is investing in the site to expand video, social and mobile content as well as develop a newsletter and launch in-person events, including activations during Fashion Week and educational and networking events. The goal is to turn xoNecole into a multifaceted digital-media women’s brand akin to Refinery29 or Popsugar.

Packer formed WPM last year in partnership with Discovery Communications and Universal Pictures. The company currently has 15 projects in development across 10 networks and platforms. XONecole is the company’s first owned-and-operated digital property, and Packer said WPM is on the lookout for potential acquisitions in the space.

Kane once traded in salacious celebrity dish as proprietor of gossip site NecoleBitchie.com, which she launched in 2008. Then she shifted gears: In 2015, Kane shut down NecoleBitchie and formed xoNecole with a focus on beauty, fashion, lifestyle, career and travel features. The new site’s mission is to promote positive images of women of color, as well as empower, educate and inspire millennials.

Ending her gossip site “was a very risky and terrifying move,” Kane said, but “I knew I wanted to offer my readers content that was more empowering and purposeful, would inspire them to live their best lives, and was deeply rooted in giving women permission to evolve.” She added, “Will Packer is someone I’ve always admired and respected, and he knows my audience. I couldn’t think of a better partnership.”

Packer said he first met Kane when some of the stars in his films were the subjects of items on her now-defunct gossip site.

“I want to be aligned with someone like Necole,” he said. “She’s had ups and downs, but she’s a survivor and a fighter. She’s also vulnerable and admits her shortcomings.”

The xoNecole team will continue to be led by Kane, overseen by WPM co-founder and COO Alix Baudin, formerly SVP and GM of Scripps Networks Interactive’s digital operations. Thanks to changes led by Baudin to streamline the site’s features and interface, xoNecole’s traffic has doubled in the last three months, according to Packer (who declined to provide specific metrics). “We see Necole as the face of a young and empowered generation of women who want to lift each other up and be inspired to evolve,” said Baudin.

In addition to traditional ad sales, xoNecole will be supported by content marketing and branded -entertainment partnerships, as well as the slate of live events, according to Packer.

Pilates Reformer

Hey Loves!

So just a warning, now that I’ve rebranded my blog to focus more on fitness, wellness and travel, you will hear me talk a lot about self-care. Self-care is essential to self preservation and it’s very important that we incorporate it into our every day lives so that we are always working towards being the best version of ourselves.

Weight training used to be a daily part of my self-care routine. I’ve talked a little about how fitness saved my life in a prior post. When I leave the gym, I feel good, rejuvenated and ready to take on the rest of the day, however, my flexibility, or lack thereof, has been putting a damper on my squat game.

My trainer would always looks at me in disbelief like, “I know you can squat down a little further,’ and the truth is I couldn’t. My hamstrings was so tight, I felt like an elderly woman trying to drop it like it’s hot with a weight bar on my shoulder.

One day, while browsing through a yoga hashtag on Instagram, I came across a woman doing pilates on what I thought was a strange piece of equipment. I later found out that it was called the reformer. I was intrigued and my research led me to a #pilatesreformer hashtag where I saw all types of people doing really amazing things on the equipment.

I wanted in!

Now, I’m the type of person that has a little A.D.D. My mind is always racing, so Yoga classes (except for Ariel & Acroyoga) has always bored me to pieces.  But the reformer pilates class seemed like it would be more of my speed since I would be engaging with a machine for most of the class.

Vanessa Necole Kane Scottsdale Yoga Pilates

Pilates Necole Kane Yoga

I’ve been going for three weeks now, 3-5 times a week and I absolutely love it. A good 50 minutes on the reformer works every area of your body, including abs, legs, and glutes –and there is a little yoga incorporated in some of the moves as well.  A lot of the exercises are done on your back, knees or using your arm strength.   There is a little cardio included  as well by way of the cardio tramp  — it’s like jumping on a trampoline while lying on your back.


Here’s a few of the key exercises that we do in class:


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Necole Kane Scottsdale and Yoga



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There are weight springs that are attached to the carriage, so there is a lot of tension when doing exercises that require you to push the board back with just your legs

Necole Yoga Scottsdale Pilates Necole Kane Necole and Vanessa Scottsdale Pilates and Yoga


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Necole Kane Scottsdale Pilates and Yoga


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Necole Kane Scottsdale Pilates Yoga SKY Scottsdale Pilates and Yoga Necole Kane


Cardio & Coordination

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This is the cardio tramp! Sometimes we are required to jump while thrusting our legs outward and throwing a ball in the air. Mind you, there are weighted springs attached to the carriage so there is a lot going on all at once. 

My teacher Vanessa is amazing. She’s a former ballet dancer and has been very patient with me during this jouney. I actually took 3 beginner classes before I realized I needed more of a challenge and so I now enroll in her Intermediate/Advanced classes only. 

Sidebar: I found my studio, Scottsdale Pilates and Yoga, through an app called Class Pass.  Class pass is in most major cities, and for a monthly fee, they allow you to see the schedules of a ton of studios in your area at any given time and reserve a spot in that class. Packages are anywhere from $40 to take 5 classes, to $80 for unlimited classes. It’s so convenient, especially when you want to find a class to take last minute.

class pass screenshot


I’d say, if you decide to try out class pass, try a few different studios, and cancel once you’ve found a Pilates/Yoga studio to call home.  And you can use my code to get $20 off your first month. $25 bucks to try out 5 sessions/studios is a steal! 

I’m headed off to class now!

If you decide to try out a Pilates Reformer class let me know how it goes! If you have ever tried it, I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments! 

Originally published April 20, 2017

Morning Rituals Can Transform Your Entire Life

Two years ago, I used to wake up flustered and in a panic. 

“What did I miss while I was asleep,” I’d wonder as I scrambled to get out of bed to get to my laptop, all while scrolling through emails on my phone. Within minutes, I’d be responding to texts, shooting off emails, making phone calls and updating social media before I even had the chance to hop in the shower and eat breakfast.  Those minutes would turn into hours, and before I knew it, my entire day had passed by before I had an opportunity to eat, drink a few glasses of water and find my center.

It was no wonder when I visited a holistic doctor in 2014 after my monthly cycle went missing that I found out I was extremely fatigued, dehydrated, mal-nutritioned and my nervous system was on the brink of shutting down.  I knew in that moment that things had to change.

During a February 2015 text exchange I had with Sway In The Morning radio host Tracy G, we dived into the topic of morning rituals which went something like this:

Tracy: What does a successful morning look like? 

A successful morning to me right now is waking up with a positive mindset and knowing I can do anything I put my mind to.  It might sound small but I’ve mentally abused myself over the past year more than any man or human ever could. A successful morning means eating two meals before noon. It’s the small stuff.


My success definitely does not include giving my mornings to others and not myself first, even though I am very thankful for my job. 

That was my morning for 8 years, giving it to others. Now I make sure I wake up, drink a glass of water, open my blinds,  listen to an empowering podcast while cooking my breakfast, and really make sure I’ve found my center before I plug into what the rest of the world is doing.


I’m trying my best to have an hour to myself in the morning before having to prep for my show.  Now that you’ve realized that it’s a non-negotiable that can help you with future decision making, if something is going to disrupt your recharge time in the morning – Is it worth it? 

Absolutely not.


Two years later, I’ve remained pretty consistent about my morning recharge time and it has literally transformed my days and changed my life.  Here’s at least 12 things I find myself doing upon waking up before I’ve even had the chance to check emails or log into my computer.

  1. Lay in silence for 15 minutes and visualize how I want my day to go
  2. Pray (and Thank God for the many blessings he’s bestowed upon me)
  3. Stretch (a lot of people do yoga or meditate, I’m not there yet)
  4. Make my bed (I’ve found that if I don’t do this, I’ll want to jump back in)
  5. Drink a glass of water (You are super dehydrated upon waking up)
  6. Open my blinds (this is actually my favorite part of my day)
  7. Shower (steam shower helps get my ideas flowing)
  8. Cook breakfast (normally it’s three eggs with a side of oatmeal and fruit)
  9. Take my vitamins
  10. Listen to an empowering podcast or audio book  (this can be done while making breakfast)
  11. Put on feel good music
  12. Aromatherapy (I find that when I put Peppermint oil in my diffuser it helps energize me, Lemon awakens my senses)

Bonus: Depending on how I feel, I may do about 15 – 30 minutes of cardio to get my heart rate going in the am. 

Once I’ve completed most of my ritual, and fully immersed myself into my “Me” time, that’s when I will log online and plug into what the world is doing.  I have noticed such a dramatic change in my life since putting these rituals in place and my friends have all pointed out the shift they’ve seen in my energy and overall attitude towards life since I’ve been doing this as well. 

A lot of people may say, “Sorry, I don’t have time,” but making the choice to go to bed earlier, and wake up an hour earlier makes all of the difference. If you put a good morning ritual that works for you in place versus the usual routing of scrambling out of bed, hopping in the shower, plugging into emails and rushing out the door you increase your chances of having a productive, well-balanced and positive day. 

Try it, and let me know what happens!

What’s your current morning ritual? 

Originally published May 17, 2017

Inside xoNecole’s “Queens See Queens” Table of 20 Dinner

Published on xoNecole.com

Oh 2017!

When I reflect on last year and what it truly meant to me, three words come to mind: transition, alignment, and sisterhood.

2017 was the end of a gruesome transition period between leaving my celebrity gossip blog NecoleBitchie.com, and stepping into a new chapter, which saw the launch of xoNecole – an empowering lifestyle website for young women of color. During that transitional period, I’ve lost friends, lost money, and almost lost my mind (a few times). However, what I gained by taking a risk and betting on myself and the woman I wanted to be, meant so much more to me.

When the clouds of a storm disappear, everything is new again and the sun shines brighter than ever. I’m there now. And after the rain, I can now confidently say that I can watch my brand grow into the beautiful empire I always knew it could be.

In 2017, I learned the importance of being in alignment and the power of manifesting the life you want for yourself.

Laying in the fetal position in my bed on days that entrepreneurship was beating me down like I had stolen something wasn’t serving me. I had to make sure I was getting up and relentlessly fighting for my dream, every single day. And I had to position myself so that when a big opportunity came, I was ready for it. And that meant shifting my perspective. That meant manifestation in its highest form.

In May, I remember sitting down with a close friend at a coffee shop in New York. She was unemployed, and I was struggling with keeping xoNecole running from where I lived in Arizona due to mounting operational expenses. I said, “Girl, if you could predict where you would like to be in 6 months, what would it look like? Let’s live in that for a moment.”

For 15 minutes, we quietly jotted down in our notebooks where we saw ourselves in 6 months using the present tense, “I am…”

Exactly six months later to the date, while in my new office in New York, I randomly opened my notebook and saw the life I was currently living written out line by line. I had manifested everything into reality and I sat there stunned with chills running down my spine and tears in my eyes. I owned the reality I wanted because I called its name and demanded it to become what it now is. That’s a testament to the power of words.

In 2017, I also learned about the power of sisterhood. I wouldn’t be where I am today without a strong tribe of women who had my back. A team of women who were passionate about work that was deeply rooted in purpose and positivity. My sister, friends, mentors, and business associates. Women who were uplifting and encouraging. Who had the same fight, passion, and purpose to empower other women to be their best selves. My Tribe!

I’ve also learned that choosing comradery over competition always produces wins for everyone.

And in honor of that, on December 19, xoNecole held its first Table of 20 event, a celebration of women in digital media – and it was the epitome of tribe vibes.

The dinner, pegged “Queens See Queens” was an ode to power women in digital media, especially those who have been making major moves behind-the-scenes at their respective outlets or media brands by pushing positive narratives for women of color.

The room was filled with genuine love as we shared hugs, laughs and promises of collaborations and partnerships.  While feasting on dinner by Omar’s Kitchen and champagne from Belaire, we clapped and cheered as each woman shared their story of adversity and triumph. Many of the women in attendance shared the common risk of moving to New York with just a few bags and uncertainty, and now seeing the rewards of success they could have only dreamed about.

The gathering was the perfect closing of 2017 – the year of the caterpiller – and grand opening to 2018, the year we finish transforming into the butterflies we were meant to be.

Success can be a lonely road without sisterhood.

I pray that you find your tribe in 2018 and beyond.

May we uplift, inspire and encourage each other! Cheers to more collaborations in this New Year!

Watch a recap of the dinner that includes my surprise announcement below:

More pics:


Menu at Table of 20 Queens See Queens

Decor at Table of 20

Appetizers from Chef Omar of Omar’s Kitchen

Necole Kane and Christina Rice

Danielle Young, Necole Kane and Tiffany Battle

Danielle Young and Claire Sulmers snap a selfie

Necole Kane, founder and Editor In Chief at xoNecole shares a few words


Lilly Workneh, Editor-In-Chief at Blavity Shares a few words at Table of 20

Arianna Davis, Senior Features Writer at Refinery 29, shares a few words at Table of 20

Natasha Alford, Deputy Editor at The Grio, shares her journey and accomplishments

Tiffany Battle, Founder of The Werk Place

Charreah Jackson, Senior Relationship Editor at Essence Magazine, shares a few words at Table of 20

Candice Benbow, “My Lemonade Has Vodka In It” speaker, shares a few words at Table of 20

Christina Rice, Founder of Omnoire shares a few words

Claire Sulmer, Founder of Fashion Bomb Daily, shares her story

Cori Murray, Entertainment Director at Essence Magazine, and co-host of Yes Girl! Podcast shares a few words

Danielle James, founder of Model Citizen and Beauty & Style editor at Hello Beautiful shares her story

Sharde Miller, Producer at Good Morning America, shares a few words

Danielle Young (The Root) shares a few laughs

Candace McDuffie shares a few words at Table of 20

Tracy G shares some laughs at Table of 20

Arianna Davis and Tracy Garraud


Chasity Cooper (Her Agenda) shares her triumphs at Table of 20

Renae Bluitt, Sharde Miller, and Cori Murray

Necole Kane and Arianna Davis

Candice Benbow, Candace McDuffie, Brande Victorian, Natasha Alford and Danielle Young attend Table of 20

Necole Kane and Renae Bluitt

Necole Kane and Natasha Alford

Candice Benbow, Brande Victorian, Chasity Cooper and Janel Martinez

Natasha Alford, Janel Martinez, Necole Kane, Tracy G, Chasity Cooper and Charreah Jackson

Candace McDuffie, Christina Rice and Jamilah Barnes

Janel Martinez and Natasha Alford share a hug

The group flick of all group flicks



Feel free to follow these amazing women that were in attendance on social for some #blackgirlmagic on your timelines!

Necole Kane – Editor-In-Chief xoNecole.com
Sharde Miller – Producer, Good Morning America
Lilly Workneh – Editor In Chief, Blavity
Natasha Alford – Deputy Editor, The Grio
Arianna Davis – Senior Features Writer, Refinery 29
Candice Benbow – Writer, Public Speaker (4:43, My Vodka Has Lemonade In It)
Tracy Garraud – Founder, She’s Beauty And The Beast | co-host Sway In The Morning
Christina Rice – Founder, Omnoire
Charreah Jackson – Senior Relationship Editor, Essence Magazine | Author
Brande Victorian – Managing Editor, Madamenoire
Cori Murray – Entertainment Director, Essence Magazine | co-Host Yes Girl! Podcast
Claire Sulmers – Founder, FashionBombDaily.com
Danielle Young – Producer, The Root
Danielle James – Style & Beauty Editor, Hello Beautiful | Founder, Model Citizen
Renae Bluitt – Founder, In Her Shoes Blog, She Did That Films
Janel Martinez – Founder, Ain’t I Latina
Tiffany Battle – Founder, The Werk Place!
Soraya Joseph – Digital Media Manager – Ebony Magazine
Candace McDuffie – Multi-media Journalist (Forbes, Glamour, Teen Vogue)
Chasity Cooper – Community Director, Her Agenda

Also many many thanks to Jamilah Barnes who helped organize this incredible event as well as Mecca Moore of Pynk Magazine who produced this amazing experience for all of us. The details were impeccable, with sand globes provided by SandGloves.Love, and the gorgeous flower wall by Dreamwork Diva.

How I Turned My Bedroom Into A Zen Oasis

“Create positive space around you, even if it’s in your mind. You must have an environment of good energy in order to give good energy.”

Does the space you spend the most time in leave you drained, uninspired and unproductive?

Earlier this year, I started noticing a pattern that I was creating.  Ever since my first real job in Corporate America, I never made my work space a home. I always treated my desk as a temporary dwelling, refusing to pin photos, put up quotes, and decorate the space as if someone actually worked there 8 hours a day. I figured why bother to personalize the space if I went into every job knowing it was a temporary situation for me –a means to pay bills and get by until another opportunity came knocking that would place me closer to my dreams.

This went on for over 10 years.  I never really personalized my spaces with my own personal touch.  Homes in Detroit, New York, LA, Miami, and Atlanta were all temporary set ups and situations for me. I knew I’d only last a year or so in each location and I’d be on to the next. (Yes, I have destination addiction. You can read about it here!)

Finally in 2014, when I first moved to Arizona, I decided immediately I wanted to add some character to my place while I figured out my next move. I painted the walls, hung up some paintings, installed pendant lights in my kitchen and got a dog (LOL!).

Screen Shot 2016-07-28 at 2.24.10 PM Screen Shot 2016-07-28 at 2.23.45 PM

Again, I only planned to stay a year but I wanted to feel comfortable and at home during that year.  I was only supposed to be in Scottsdale long enough to make my career transition and once that was done, I’d be free to plot my next city and next adventure.  But somehow, a year came and went, and I was still here…and I still wonder if me staying had anything to do with me creating a house that now felt like a home.

But of course, it didn’t take long before I found myself moving again…

This time it was a very small move, in the same community three doors down. A friend and I decided we’d cut our bills in half by moving in together, and I said, ‘Why not?’ When you are transitioning into the life of your dreams, sometimes you have to make sacrifices to make things happen. I’ve always wanted to live a life full of travel and adventure, but the huge expenses I started accumulating personally and professionally was holding me back from that life. This move was probably one of the smartest decisions I made in the last ten years. I would now have an extra $1500 a month to go towards things I enjoyed (i.e. Pilate & Yoga classes, traveling, fitness, health etc.)

Right from the start,  I thought of it as only a temporary situation for me.  I kept fantasizing about being able to work from anywhere in the world, so I wanted to put myself in a position where I wasn’t completely tied down to a place because of the accumulation of things that didn’t have much value.  I wanted to make sure I could start moving around freely, so I sold a lot of my furniture and I only had a desk for my home office, no bedroom furniture and piles of clothes and books everywhere.

It was really pretty messy.

I didn’t know at the time that my messy space was a reflection of my messy life. I also didn’t realize that my current set up was sending “I’m Not Staying Here Long” energy, out into the universe. I was still living as though it was my old college days again—unsettled and unconcerned with creating a house that was a home.

And I started to notice that the cluttered and messy space I had created was definitely having a negative impact on my daily life.

For months, I felt drained and uninspired. This was a huge problem since I was working from home a lot.  Since my desk was located in my bedroom (I now realize that’s a huge no no) and I spent most of my time there, I knew I had to do something about it and fast! So I started Operation: Create My Happy Space. 

Over a period of a month, I went from this ….

Me trying on a tulle skirt someone had sent me (in my messy room)

Me trying on a tulle skirt someone had sent me (in my messy room)

To this…

Necole Bedroom 8

I can honestly say my room feels like a vacation home now. When you walk in on any given day, you’ll hear soothing music, smell lavender and peppermint scents, and feel a gentle breeze flowing. Everyone who visits mentions how soothing it feels and I’ve even had a few people say, “I would never leave my room if I stayed here.”

Here are a few changes I made to my room to create peace and order in my life:

Necole Bedroom 5


I painted the walls purple, after studying Feng Shui. I wanted to attract prosperity and in Feng Shui, the color purple attracts abundance. This color also brought a romantic, soothing energy to my bedroom. I adore it!  (I also bought some purple curtains to match.)

Necole bedroom 2

Necole Bedroom 6

A Lamp

I bought a grey lamp to match the color scheme of my room. The lamp also changed the mood of the room in a good way. I used to have a ceiling fan with a harsh overhead light. Now the lamp casts beautiful shadows, lighting up the space gently without glare. There is an app called Offer Up that I love. I buy and sell everything off on there and find it way more reliable than Craigslist as a source for gently used decor items. I bought this lamp for a steal at 20 bucks using Offer Up. 

Fake flowers

A Plant

Initially, I brought home a beautiful purple Orchid for my room. It fit so perfectly  but unfortunately I couldn’t keep the poor thing alive past three days.  (And only after it died did my Facebook friends tell me that three ice cubes would have saved the day.) Now I have an artificial bouquet of white roses. Adding flowers or a plant to your workspace increases productivity and creativity.


Image-1 (1)

Himalayan Salt Crystal Lamp

I originally bought my Himalayan salt lamp while browsing Bed, Bath & Beyond because it looked cool and changed colors. When it’s turned on, it creates a very relaxing atmosphere in my room.  I had no idea it had health benefits. Some sites claim that they boost blood flow, improve sleep, increase levels of serotonin in the brain, and calm allergy or asthma symptoms.  They also keep the air clean and help with respiratory problems.

bookshelves and books


While decluttering, I needed a space for my piles of books. My first thought (and I’m still considering it) was to install some floating shelves above my desk. For the time being, I bought a corner bookshelf which makes for a beautiful home for my books on self-help, happiness, Buddhism, and love. Beginning and ending my day with an inspirational read is a must.

Crystals on the window


I never thought I’d be that girl with a windowsill full of crystals. I visited a photographer friend in LA a few months ago and we bonded over our love for crystals and oils and she sent me away with a Celestine wand as a parting gift. She too had crystals on her windowsill and I loved how calm and welcoming her home felt. I placed mine there to remind myself of the sort of energies I want to manifest in my life.  A lot of people have been writing me on SnapChat asking about which crystals I have, so I will do a separate post with a breakdown on my complete collection. I’ve added a few more since this photo was taken.



If my energy is all over the place or very negative on any given day, (for whatever reason) I burn sage. Burning sage is one of the oldest and purest methods of cleansing a group of people, space, or person.

Aroma diffuser

Aroma Therapy Diffuser

Aromatherapy is the practice of using natural oils to enhance psychological and emotional well-being. I have an aromatherapy diffuser that I use to mist my room with the scent of lavender, peppermint and/or rosemary. Lavender oils are really good when you want to have a good night’s sleep and I find Peppermint makes me really alert and happy.  (P.S. I bought my aroma therapy diffuser from Best Buy but there are plenty on Amazon.)

Also candles give a really nice touch and make your room smell great.  I order candles from Gifts From A Virgo (they burn into massage oils) and I also have an Olive Blossom premium candle that makes my room smell like a luxury hotel. 

Bonus: A Photo Of My Girls + Affirmation

Desk with Himalayan Crystal Lamp

I’m not the type that has photos everywhere, but I did place a photo of me and some of my closest friends (who are also my support system) on my desk. I also have a prosperity mantra taped to the wall (tacky I know haha!). As you can see, my desk is a world map… It helps me put my jetsetting aspirations out into the universe. 

Bedroom Necole 4I’ve definitely noticed a shift in my energy and overall productivity ever since I decided to get my room together. The major exciting thing about it is if I decide to travel a bit, it wouldn’t be hard to Airbnb or sublease the space until I return. I can now truly live the life of travel and wellness I’ve always wanted.

If you are feeling uninspired by your space, definitely consider giving it a revamp.  Inspirational pillows, shag rugs, floating shelves, lighting, soothing music (I have a sonos speaker), and the right color paint are all things that will help spruce up your space and give you the boost you need to get things done.

By the way, I haven’t put up any paintings in my room yet. Once I do that, I will truly feel settled.

What are some things you’ve added to your room to create a happy space? 

Originally published May 20, 2017

A Look Inside BET’s Museum Of Memes

I read in a magazine last year that we would see a ton of hotels, restaurants and major events featuring art installations and interactive activities with the intention of creating Instagrammable moments for it’s visitors.  Spend a day in New York and you’ll see a snapworthy moment everywhere — from the sidewalks to the interior walls and displays of your favorite yogurt shop — it’s all meant for a picture-worthy moment.

Last week, when the invite to BET’s VIP night for the opening of it’s latest creation The Museum of MEME hit my inbox, curiosity definitely got the best of me. I knew for sure it would be something for the gram!

At first, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how a museum of memes could actually be a thing, but to my surprise it didn’t disappoint. Ahead of the BET Social Awards, the network converted a blank space in Soho into an immersive gallery of 25 exhibits. Incorporated were social movements, popular memes, hashtags, and some of the biggest video moments of social media viewed through the lens of Black culture and the voices that created them.

There was the Milly Rock (that we do on every block — Shout out to Quinta B)

An ode to the gif of Michael Jackson eating his popcorn (I used to use this every time someone said something juicy in a group chat)

Why You Always Lying was a song and video that went viral in 2015

Issa Rae had a huge viral moment at The Emmys in September 2017. When she was asked on the red carpet who she was rooting for, she replied, “I’m rooting for everybody black.”  This was a huge installation at the back of the Museum of Meme where the event’s photo booth was set up!

I wanted in.

There was also an array of installations that highlighted how we have used social media to amplify important causes and heighten social awareness with hashtags like #TimesUp, #SayHerName and #Black Lives Matter.

I arrived with my friends Sam and CJ in tow, and ran into some familiar faces including Rotimi (Power), Bobbi Valentino, Rae Holliday, Lowkey (Hennypalooza/Trap Karaoke), Ron Bass and my publicist/friend Christina Brown.

It was definitely an interesting and fun night.

Take a look at some of the pics below:

NEW YORK, NY – FEBRUARY 08: Sam White, and Necole Kane attend the BET NETWORKS Hosting of the Opening Night Reception For “THE MUSEUM OF MEME” In Celebration Of “THE BET SOCIAL AWARDS” at The Museum of Meme on February 8, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Eugene Gologursky/Getty Images for BET Networks)

Photos via Getty Images | Calligrafist | Dorothy Hung/Team Epiphany