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What Would Happen If You Devoted This Year To Loving Yourself More?

What Would Happen If You Devoted This Year To Loving Yourself More?

Earlier this year, I said I was going to take Shonda Rhimes lead and make 2016 The Year Of Yes.

I think most of us did. It sounded so great at the time. 

My friends and I made a pact that we were going to say ‘Yes” to any and every opportunity that came our way with hopes of challenging ourselves to explore new ventures, leave our comfort zones, and in the process, find our truest self.

But what I learned fairly quickly was that sometimes while saying “yes,” to everything, you put everything and everyone before yourself. And in the process, you may get off track and further away from your end goal.

One day I was sitting with a male friend and we were sharing our dreams with each other, and I told him, this is what I want in my life right now. It was merely an extended vacation where I would travel and get to unplug for a bit to explore who I was at the core.  His response to me was, “that’s your ego talking.”

I was taken aback by his response.  In a nutshell, he felt my desire to take a small break to regroup and fuel my soul’s desires was selfish. In his mind, I could be using that time to write e-books, create courses and use my journey as a vessel to teach other women how to blog and do business.

And as great as that sounds, and I love that he has that vision for me (because it’s a vision I had for myself), how can I pour into others when I don’t have a full cup right now? We’ve been so conditioned to work, work, work, without taking any breaks.  Many of the entrepreneur women I speak to are beyond exhausted but scared to take a break or even carve out a small amount of time for themselves each day for fear that they will lose their audience, lose customers and lose relevance. 

In the process, we are losing our minds.

It is the very reason Ariana Huffington is leaving her company The Huffington Post. She’s launching a new brand “Thrive” which focuses on well-being, and increasing productivity without burning out.   In her book ‘Thrive,’ she revealed that two years after she launched the Huffington Post website, she fell and cracked her jaw one night from sleep deprivation. It put things in perspective for her. She also stressed that we sacrifice our well-being while chasing money, power and success.  

“”If this is ‘living’ then what is life? Can the goal of life really be just about money and recognition? It’s easy to miss the real point of our lives even as we’re living them. Until we’re no longer alive”

A CEO at a finance company added: “I don’t want to be someone who, 15 years from now has horrible health problems and who hasn’t created a life that feels really meaningful. to me.”

That’s powerful.

If it’s one thing I’ve learned during this transitional period is that you have to make sure your cup is full, so you can pour into others. 

And that’s not selfish.

How you treat yourself is how you invite the world to treat you.

Taking good care of you, means the people in your life will get the best of you, rather than what’s left of you.

So before you can say “Yes” to everything and everyone else, you have to say “Yes” to you first. 

With that in mind, for the next 365 days, instead of the “Year of Yes,” I’m embarking on The Year Of Me. This means making sure I’m always keeping my love cup full by making time to do the things I truly enjoy: travel, events, writing, dancing, loving, enjoying time with friends, and continuing to remind myself every day to press reset as many times as I have to stay happy. (And sane ☺️☺️)

oh and I’ll be documenting this self-care journey!

I want you to Join me!

What do you wish you could do more of? (If you had just a bit more time, more money or less responsibilities?)

Here’s a challenge: Purchase a journal and on the first page answer the question: “What do I want from my life?” Think about what you want your dream life to look like. 

For the next 12 months, carve out at least one day a week for self-care.  Sundays are my designated self-care day. During that day, spend a few hours (if not the entire day) to do things you enjoy and that leaves you fulfilled. A yoga class.  Reading a book in the park. A wine night with your closest friends. Sight-seeing in your city and exploring areas you  may have never been before.  A road trip. Meditate.  Goal setting. Check an item off of your bucket list. Those moments that fill you up will eventually bring you closer to clarity and your dream life. 

Whatever it is, do it, enjoy yourself and reflect and journal afterwards. 

I did this and realized my goals and dreams were different than what I initially thought.  That some how I had gotten side tracked and rerouted in the midst of running on the treadmill of success. 

Look at it this way, when we are no longer here, our eulogies won’t be about the money we made, our awards, and job titles, but instead the footprints we left in the hearts of others.

 

#theyearofme #mylifereset

P.S.

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37 Comments
  • 8 Aug ’16

    I might just start right now

  • 8 Aug ’16

    Exactly what I’ve been doing. I started a self-love journey this year and it feels good to be my #1 priority!

  • 8 Aug ’16

    I wasn’t really feeling that book but luved this post!

  • 8 Aug ’16

    Can you really press reset on life though?

    • 8 Aug ’16

      Yes. Im exercising and reading alot, saving up to travel more.

    • Necole
      8 Aug ’16

      Absolutely! When you leave a job that’s no longer fulfilling you, start a new career, move to a new location, end a bad long term relationship and so forth, those are all examples of pressing reset, and may ultimately move you one step closer to living the life of your dreams

  • 8 Aug ’16

    Loved that!!!!

  • 8 Aug ’16

    I’m pressing reset!

  • 8 Aug ’16

    I will be joining you on this Year of Me journey starting today!.

  • 8 Aug ’16

    I”m in the process…after losing the one person who loved me…my mom…I am about doing what is loving for and to me!

  • 9 Aug ’16

    So In connection to my life as I’m trying to figure out what’s next. Im not being intellectually pushed but I want to be in my work life as well as personal life

  • 9 Aug ’16

    This was a great read!

  • 9 Aug ’16

    Perfect and I totally relate.

  • Nia
    Reply
    9 Aug ’16

    This is great. I just turned down a job that was great on paper and put me in a city that was better for accelerating my career. But when I looked at all the things that I was losing by leaving where I am, I realized that saying Yes to “all the things that scared me” wasn’t right. Although all my mentors told me to go, I’m happy that I listened to myself instead.

  • 9 Aug ’16

    I love the idea of this! I’ve put a lot of thought into it actually. But does stepping back make sense when you’re in the premature stages of launching a business? Specially without the funds to pay people to make sure everything else stays afloat while I step back and focus on me?

  • 9 Aug ’16

    Yes I’m starting right now.

  • 9 Aug ’16

    Exactly what i said yesterday,to more self love

  • 9 Aug ’16

    I love this

  • 9 Aug ’16

    This is awesome. I have something similar going on. Loved that book.

  • 9 Aug ’16

    Love the concept & the article…..Year of Me!

  • 9 Aug ’16

    Great article

  • 9 Aug ’16

    I am on the same journey! I realized that I spend sooo much time making sure everything and everyone else is taken care of, while putting myself on the back burner. I had to remind myself that if I’M not good and well, eventually I’ll burnout and NO ONE will be good and well. I think we all need to step back, press reset, and make sure we’re loving on ourselves FIRST.

  • 10 Aug ’16

    Well needed.

  • Kre
    Reply
    11 Aug ’16

    I’ve been following your journey for a long time Ms.Kane and I’m so proud of your growth. You’ve been that friend in my head lol. I live vicariously through you because fear holds me back from a lot. Your post always inspire me but never put it into action. My introverted self will change that because I’m ready to live my most abundantly filled live. I say yes to me and no to my fears.

  • 12 Aug ’16

    I love this

  • 12 Aug ’16

    Put yourself first and balance everyone else after

  • Diane
    Reply
    12 Aug ’16

    Hey Necole
    I found this to be very inspiring so I rounded up a group of my friends to do this. We are starting August 15th for 12 months!

  • 13 Aug ’16

    Necole, I’m glad you’re flexible, and honest with yourself. Moreover, it’s great that you’re not waiting for “the new year” to start, and that you’re choosing to execute this…NOW! Wishing you well with the next 365 days!

  • Lei
    Reply
    14 Aug ’16

    Yes, thank you! I needed this. I’m pressing the reset button in a few days (on my 29th birthday) and documenting the next year. Thanks for inspiring!

  • Lei
    Reply
    14 Aug ’16

    Yes, thank you! I needed this. I’m pressing the reset button in a few days (on my 29th birthday) and documenting the next year. Thanks for inspiring!

  • Courtney Fowler
    Reply
    18 Aug ’16

    “How can I pour into others when I don’t have a full cup right now? We’ve been so conditioned to work, work, work, without taking any breaks.”

    THISSSSSS

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