It was about 5:40pm, the movers had just left with all of my things and my car was already half way across the country via a shipping service I had found on the internet a few days before. At this point I didn’t even know if the shipping company was legit or if I was ever going to see my car again. I just knew that I had to get everything out of my sight and across the country or I would change my mind…and that wasn’t an option.
There I was standing in Brooklyn in my empty apartment, starring at the skyline of downtown New York and I didn’t know whether to cry, be sad, be happy, call someone, write in my journal. I had no idea what to do. All I knew was that, in 4 hours I would be headed to the airport to catch a red eye to LA and I was terrified. But why?
Considering, I’ve moved more than a few times in my life………
Rewind back to 2004 –
I left my full time job as a receptionist at an accounting firm in Baltimore (where I was also enrolled in my last semester of school full time) and moved to Detroit. I was inspired to move after losing my mother to breast cancer and had the urge to leave everything I knew and go to a place where I barely knew anyone. I truly felt it was the only way I would be able to truly find myself which is hard to do when you live in the land of familiar. You are very much affected by your comfort zone and the thoughts of the people around you that are somewhat complacent as well. The move was the best decision I could have made as 6 months later, I found myself in an internship in radio which lead to a management position and my first taste of the entertainment industry. There, I learned leadership skills, what it means to be “hungry”, how to command respect, how to say ‘no” and most importantly, the value of knowing your worth. I accepted a job making 24,000 that was very stressful, required me to manage a whole promotions department and work more than 50-60 hours per week because I was scared to negotiated what I thought I was worth in fear of losing the job. Looking back, the real lessons I learned during my time at that job over compensated for the salary that I was paid.
There, I also met a guy by the name of Schaffer Smith, otherwise known as Ne-Yo. He came into the station late one night with a Def Jam rep to promote a new song he had out with Peedi Crack. I remember this guy vividly because he came in the small room I was sitting while working on an air check (with hopes to one day be on air). He said, “Is this your passion?” After I gave him a confused face,” he rephrased the question. “Is this what you want to do with your life?” I said, “well I’m not really sure” and he says, “You should definitely figure it out. If I were to die today, I’d at least be fulfilled in knowing that I was working towards something I really wanted”. Needless to say, months later Ne-Yo found himself on the Billboard charts with his second single, “So Sick” and I found myself driving down to Atlanta with no job and no plan…but his words stayed with me.
Moving on to 2006 – There I was in Atlanta briefly after quitting my job at the radio station. At that point, I had realized my passion wasn’t in radio but it was very much connected to the music industry in some sort of way. I thought that with a few connects under my belt and experience I’d get into the music industry scene of Atlanta (which was beginning to pop) very quickly, however my living situation wasn’t that great and I had zero cash. I ended up leaving after 10 days
Which lead me back to Maryland (right outside of DC — (2006). By this point, I was very much confused at what was next for me and began working a temp job at a high end hotel chain in the meantime while sleeping in my friends basement. The temp job lead to a permanent job as the assistant to the President of the North East division of the hotel chain fairly quickly and my radio salary was more than doubled with less the stress. However, a month into it I woke up and thought to myself. What the hell am I doing working in the hotel business when my dream is entertainment? I soon fell into a deep depression because I wasn’t quite sure what my next move would be, realizing I was right back in the land of familiar again. I had a steady pay check with good benefits, I was in somewhat of a serious relationship with an old male friend of mine and I was hanging out with my best friends from college again. It was fine for the moment but I couldn’t see myself living that life forever….
One very rainy day, I walked down in the basement of my friends apartment and I remember feeling really weirded out as soon as I walked into the bedroom. There on the bed was a plaque with my mother’s photo on it that I normally had tucked away in a bag. I entered the room and just stared at her photo. It was like, it was telling me something…and then my eyes shifted to the dresser and there sitting on the dresser was a snake. When I say I never ran so fast in my life. I was OUT OF THERE and I never went back. My friends mom packed up all of my belongings and I made my way to an aunt’s house where I slept on the couch for a few days. I then quit my job, broke it off with my boyfriend that wasn’t really a boyfriend and made my way up to New Jersey where a male friend from college had invited me to come live with he and his family.
On the way to Jersey I reflected on what just happened. I saw a snake and it effected my entire being and ran me out of town…but that wasn’t just it. To me it symbolized fear. It symbolized my fear of failing which led me right back to the land of familiar, with my familiar friends and my comfortable job. I ran out of that room that night because I didn’t want to face my fear (a snake), in the same way that I ran back to Maryland because I was scared to fail. How much longer was I going to run from fear?
Which leads me to New Jersey (2007) —
Stay tuned for Part 2….
Sidenote: My intentions when I titled this blog was to write about my last day in New York but I got inspired to write more about my journey in the midst of blogging this story and now it may turn into a 6-7 part series leading up to my move to LA. Stay tuned…
Hi, I'm Necole!
You are such an inspiration Necole! One day I hope that I am able to fulfill and live out my dreams just like you! Congrats on all your success and hard work. What advice would you give to someone who has no connections in the business, but would love to somehow get in? I am a college student looking for a mentor in the business, and this is a bit bold to ask on your personal blog but I could not help but to try.
I like this alot Necole. My environment is making me somewhat complacent with life, and I HATE it. I’m struggling myself right now as to where I wanna go after I graduate in may 2012 . I have doubts, then again there’s that voice that’s telling me not to settle, but I have NO CLUE how to get where I wanna be. Not even an insight as to how to get my toe in the door, it’s a struggle. Can’t wait for part 2.
This is inspiring! In my opinion, The only thing that separates a person who is living their dreams from a person who isn’t is the absence of fear of failure. Everyone knows what they really want to do in life (“success”) but whether they obtain it or not depends on their own limitations.
Thank you. As I sit here w/ my eyes full of tears all I can say is thank you. Just sharing your story has touched me. God puts things in front of us for a purpose & he is always right on time. Just a few hours ago while driving home from my “comfortable job” (that I hate & I complain about EVERY SINGLE DAY)I had a long, emotional, heartfelt & eye opening talk with myself. What am I doing? Definitely not pursuing my dreams or living out my destiny. If someone would have told me 5 years ago that I would be here I would have looked at them w/ the screw face, rolled my eyes & told them where they could go. I am tired of being complacent, settling & not being truly happy. I want to go for my dreams! I’m so tired of dreaming and I am ready to start doing. I am stuck at the point where I know what I want to do but not how to do it or where to start. I truly believe fear is holding me back & I am so ready to let go of it and just make even ONE step towards my dreams. I hate where I am now right, so what do I have to lose? Reading stories like yours makes gives me hope & renews my faith that I can do it. We all can do it. Just have to let go of fear & let God work. I’M READY!
I only pray to one day be able to share my journey & my story & touch someone like you have touched me tonight. Thank you Necole.
(Can’t wait for the continuations)
You’re a very courageous woman.. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to the rest of the series…
Wow…i cannot wait to read the rest necole. This alone is so inspiring to me! Thank you 🙂
This was so perfect and right on time! I am struggling with staying comfortable or uncomfortable and happy working toward my dreams. You’ve inspired me already and I can’t wait for the rest of the installments 🙂
I’ve been feeling like God has been talking to me all day long. Like he’s been asking me “what are you waiting on?” “When are you going to make your move?” “What are you SCARED OF?” It was meant for me to read this tonight.
A masterpiece in the works.
Hi Necole,
Words can’t describe how much I admire you for being so strong to open up your life to us. I remember stumbling across NecoleBitchie in late 08 or early 09, I can’t really remember when but I know it was years ago. I loved your site but when I found your personal blog I was hooked at your posts, I would stay up late catching up on all your older posts. I was so sad when you took this down but I’m freaking ecstatic you’ve brought it back. Your blog introduced me to the Law of Attraction (the post about you moving to Atlanta & making vision boards) & has completely changed my way of thinking & outlook on life so I’m eternally grateful! So to say I’m inspired would be an understatement. Thanks for staying true to yourself & motivating us to follow our inner voices. Your actions don’t go unnoticed! I’m excited to read deeper on your journey & I’m anxiously waiting for the next post! 😉
Thank you for all you do.
From a fellow Virgo (9/5) hehe :0)
Necole, I read this and simply cried for so many reasons. I have “followed” your career mainly through your private blog and I see so many similarities in our lives. To know faith is to also know fear. I can’t wait for Part 2 of this incredible journey. You are simply amazing in tenacity, strength, and your transparency is refreshing. SEQ
I love that photo, and the view is dope – you subletting that apartment?
LOL. Nah, jokes. Thanks for sharing – the presence of fear has the very real potential to kill everything in its path. It destroys careers, relationships, and the quest for a higher self. If left unchecked and unrealized, many years pass before you wake up and are unable to recognize the face in the mirror – fear leaves an empty shell where there once was a vibrant person with bright eyes and bigger dreams. What’s interesting is that no matter how much you’ve conquered fear in your life, it is always very real and very present. Kudos to you for seeing the pattern that developed from fear, and taking the action to recreate your life.
However, as a proud NY’er, I’m definitely interested in hearing why you left so quickly. While you’re well on your path to conquering the world, I must say that victory and #winning feel so much more awesome in New York City, say word!
Looking forward to parts 2-7 Necole. And continued blessings on your journey. Peace!
-LAT
@Antonio, well said!
Necole, I have been so inspired by you. Fact is, I read your old interviews and stories as much as I read Oprah’s and other people I admire. Because of your stories I’m finally choosing to claim the life I was meant to live, without fear. Thank you for sharing so honestly and I can’t wait to read the rest.
Necole,
To know what started your incredible journey is truly inspiring! In certain instances I feel even more connected to your “story” simply because it mirrors courage, struggle and your way through adversity. I really do feel like I’ve come to a point where I’m outgrowing this chapter in my life and need something that doesn’t feel like a job..your story is motivation to my turning point in more happiness and fulfillment! Keep going as I sure will!
Elise Bitchie
Thanks for sharing your story Necole. Reading this definitely inspires me to keep pressing forward. I walked away from corporate america in 2009 and haven’t looked back because it isn’t my passion. Some days are harder than others but reading inspirational stories such as yours reminds me that I’m close.
Reading this probably just changed my life! Thanks!
oh gosssssshhhhhhh those words ‘comfortable’ & ‘familiar’ are the words that scare me so much! i want the courage to make change but its just sssssoooo hard! i guess i should stop with the excuses!!! cant wait to read the rest!!! im relating already 🙂
This is something I needed to read. Definitely looking forward to the next installment(s).
Thank you for this Necole. I needed to see this!
“I saw a snake and it effected my entire being and ran me out of town…but that wasn’t just it. To me it symbolized fear. It symbolized my fear of failing which led me right back to the land of familiar, with my familiar friends and my comfortable job.”
truly inspiring. thank you for sharing this with us. i found tears in my eyes many times while reading this. you are a fabulous writer and any woman (or man) could relate in some way. thank you, thank you, thank you!
This reminds me of my Story, and it really has inspired me to stay hungry for my success, Thanks Butterfly
SUPER inspiring! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Your testimony is really ministering to me! I was all into it and then it says “Stay tuned for part 2”. LOL Thank you for this though, it is truly inspiring!
I’m so inspired by your story Necole! Still waiting for part 2 though!
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL WOMAN !!!!!