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There Is Nothing Wrong With Being An Introvert

There Is Nothing Wrong With Being An Introvert

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I am an introvert. It’s true.  Some refer to it as a ‘Virgo trait’ but I’d have to disagree as I know some very outgoing Virgos who are the life of the party! I, on the other hand, am most comfortable when I’m alone.

I came to the revelation that I’m an introvert, who also has social anxiety sometime last year when I was watching rapper Wale in an interview which featured a live audience, and a girl expressed that she felt that he was being rude because he didn’t take a photo with her. His body language, which was already guarded, started to shift, and he looked uncomfortable. He later revealed to the radio host (Bushman) that he was playing with his phone as a way to stay distracted because he was going through extreme anxiety, having to talk in front of people and not being prepared.

I’m a real person. I’m nervous too. I don’t have music playing, I’m not performing. I’m nervous.  I perform in front of a 100 thousand people, but I’m performing. I’m not a public speaker. If it wasn’t for my phone, both of my hands would be sweating.

He also elaborated in an interview with Jas Fly:

I’m weird because I get uncomfortable [with] fishbowl sh-t. I got anxiety. I mentally prepare if I’m doing a meet and greet, but if I go somewhere and everybody stop and I don’t’ have time to prepare, my heart starts racing and I start getting sweaty and anxious and I just [motions as if he’s pushing something away].  People think just because you’re famous, you’re supposed to be who they want you to be. There’s an expectation that I can’t live up to.

Ironically, Wale is a Virgo, but listening to him talk about his anxiety was all too familiar to me.  A common trait of Introverts is social anxiety. When you are someone with Wale’s success, you are expected to be ON all of the time, and no matter how you are feeling, it’s your job to be friendly, and cordial, and take photos with the people who support you and potential fans.  It’s a very difficult position to adjust to when you grew up as the only child, wasn’t the most popular person in your class, or haven’t been thrust in the most encouraging environments.

When I was 18, I left my small town of Maryland to attend Morgan State University in Baltimore.  It was the first time that I interacted with people who weren’t from my town, and it was there that I realized how different I was. For one, I did not know that I was poor and poverty-stricken until I went off to college. When everyone you know, grows up in the same conditions, you don’t really realize your struggle, until you are exposed to the ‘real world.’

For the first week weeks, I was teased every single day because of the way I talked. Because I had a very southern accent, and I didn’t pronounce a lot of words right, people felt as though I was unintelligent. Every time I would talk, they would mock the way I spoke, and I quickly became a mute. It was hurtful! As a result, I would only speak around my friends, but would be very quiet around other people.  I eventually transferred out of that school to nearby Towson, and spent my years there listening to how people who were articulate spoke, while attempting to pick up their dialect.

Years later, when I became a blogger,  I think people automatically thought I was a social butterfly because I was so willing to reveal the face behind the website, in a time where it was rare to even know who was writing the content on black blogs, not to mention I would be invited to parties and actually go, but I was very much battling my social anxiety behind the scenes.

I knew at some point, I’d have to be more outgoing, network, maybe even make some appearances on television and radio, so I started preparing myself by hiring a speech coach. As the blog began getting better, I knew I wouldn’t be able to fake the funk for much longer, and I wanted to be prepared for any blessings God sent my way.

My speech is a lot better but it still hasn’t helped me fully battle my anxiety. When I walk in a room, especially one that is filled with people who are in the industry, I get anxiety. I feel like I am being judged. I feel as though I can’t live up to these people’s perception of who I am supposed to be.  I’m no Wendy Williams. I’m no Oprah. Those media mavens speak well!

I’m definitely not the type of person that will walk up to someone and introduce myself, but I will ask someone to make the introduction if I really want to meet someone. In these environments, I become distant. I become that girl from a small town that used to be teased for the way she talked….but no matter how much anxiety I am experiencing, I will never turn down a photo from my supporters because that can blur the line of being rude.

I remember last year, 2013, I went to a Grammy party with a girlfriend of mine. I don’t know what made us think we were gonna chill in a corner, drink cocktails and dance all night, but from the time we walked in the door until the time we left (2 hours later) there were people (publicists, managers, and label reps) lined up to pitch stuff (to go on the website) and I was being pulled in every which direction. I literally thought I was going to pass out on spot. My heart started racing, I started sweating, and the room felt as though it was enclosing in on me. At one point, my friend said, ‘This is overwhelming,’ and she pulled me into a bathroom stall where I sat for about 10 minutes gathering my thoughts.  Looking back, I could have just handed out my business card, told them to send the stuff to our tips box, and kept it moving, but I proceeded to have lengthy conversations with every single person who stopped me in fear of being labeled as rude.

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In response to my revelation about being an introvert on Twitter, comedian Lil Duval wrote, ‘That’s insecurities!’  If my anxiety is a result of me being teased, then insecurities may very well have something to do with it, however I felt his response could have been a negative reaction to what I had just revealed.  It was a reminder, that a lot of people do not open up about things that they deal with personally in fear of the negative feedback they will receive or better yet, they fear they will be judged.

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No one wants to be judged for their flaws or personal hang ups.  I only write about mine because I know I’m not the only one who deals with this.  On Instagram, hundreds of people responded to my post, ‘ME TOOOOOOOO!’

Being an introvert is not uncommon. [A study revealed that 60% of the gifted are introverts! And guess what, a lot of introverts work in creative fields or become writers!] Social anxiety is not uncommon. Unfortunately, a lot of people, especially celebs, who have to be ON all of the time, self-medicate themselves by turning to drugs to cope with the anxiety. I’d rather that not be my story, so I continue every day to work on my personal hang ups.

I’ve come a long way in just the last three years alone, but I have so much more work to do, and until I am able to get over this hump, it will be hard to reach my full potential as a blogger/entrepreneur. But I’m working on it.

The Lesson: No matter what your hang ups are, stay encouraged. Don’t allow those things to hold you back from being the great person you can be, or becoming successful.  And most importantly, try not to allow people to make you feel bad about it.

Know that there are tons of other people who are going through the same thing.

For Fun: 23 Signs You’re Secretly An Introvert

Published June 2014

123 Comments
  • 9 Feb ’14
  • 9 Feb ’14

    I’m a social butterfly I usually open up to people easily….I’m not overly friendly but I can’t stay in a shell too long lol I’m only an introvert to people I’m not fond of

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I am…People often mistake it as me being ‘stuck up’ BUT I’m far from being so. It can sometime take me a while to warm up to new people, so I’m often quiet and being observant…

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Story of my LIFE! It’s hard to convey it to others that don’t understand.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I’m the same way

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I’m an introvert until I really get to know you.. then get ready for some crazy shit.

    • 9 Feb ’14

      Thats me all day. People don’t like that though because they want to see what you offer right away, but for us its a gradual thing. Can’t give you all of the goods all at once.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Very much so until I get to know u. I’m thinking it must be a Virgo thing.

    • 9 Feb ’14

      I say the same thing lol must be a Virgo thing

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I am and very quiet takes time for me to get comfortable a lot of times ppl say oh ur nicer than we thought

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Introvert here too. Takes me a long time to warm up to people.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I am

  • 9 Feb ’14

    i dont get anxiety but i dont feel the need to get to know, or show interest in new ppl. i’ve been called “rude” also… i just dont feel that urge most ppl have to bond with other humans.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    lmbo..always hear u snotty stuck up everything negative..but im far from that..just really reserved when it comes to new people…introverts seem a lot more cautious as well..

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Me too!

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Me too … All the time mistaken for “stuck up”, rude or that I “hate new ppl”… I like to keep my distant, observe, read ppl…. since nowadays “friendship”, “real” is so much of a dream… When u see ppl back stabbing one another, almost all the time

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Good post!

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I don’t think it’s a zodiac thing at, maybe because I do not believe in the zodiacs. People always think because I’m this tall glamazon who speaks well and works hard that I am this talkative person. Little do people know that I have extreme social anxiety, I literally start sweating and physically sick. I don’t have any extreme insecurities it’s just I get extremely nervous when being around people. I have to put on 90% of the time but, I’m always counting down the hours to when I can get to my safe haven which is my room.

    • 9 Feb ’14

      Omg you sound just like me finally I’m not alone

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Me too

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Yes, we exist! Good Lord I wish more people were aware and would stop passing judgment.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Introvert as well! Not as much as anxiety but def quiet around new folks. Like others have stated, I gotta read you first and observe your personality before I can be comfy

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Same here!

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I used to be an extrovert. Experience turned me into an introvert

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Yes I am an introvert. Its in my genetic makeup. However being too introverted can hinder you from some opportunities. So you have to find some kind of balance I believe. And I also don’t care what people think because…….who cares lol

  • 9 Feb ’14

    . Being an introvert doesn’t mean you not comfortable around people means you happier alone or small groups..

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Yes indeed.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Great blog..

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Great post Necole. I experience the same thing, and I’m also a Virgo in the creative/media field. Thanks for sharing.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Me too Necole! It’s rough! I recently figured this out…. I’m NOT anti-social. I AM an introvert! I get anxiety as well!

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I’m a Virgo too! ❤️

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Me too Necole!!!

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Me too.. I’m often mistaken as rude also. I’ve jus grown to accept it and move on.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    If it makes you feel any better, a lot of the most creative people are introverts.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Me too

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Story of my life…I get bashed for this personality characteristic.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I would have never thought that about you or Wale because you are in the spotlight I will definitely keep that in mind the next I say an entertainer is mean I think most people have some insecurities.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Nope. Total extrovert personality.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Yes. I think I am. I stay to myself and hating meeting new people. But I do talk to strangers who ask me questions related to my hair lol.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Thank you for sharing Necole!

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Felecia Barnett !!! With our introverted selves!!!

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Im a introvert, I don’t talk to alot of people but once I know u we cool until u fuck up then I shut off

  • 9 Feb ’14

    yeah me too i am not very good at socializing and i don’t like to go to a lot of things i to get accused of being stuck up and i don’t even go to family functions mine comes from childhood trauma though but people don’t understand that they think i just don’t wanna be around them but i’m always to myself even when i don’t want to be.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    exactly what people think of me when they first meet me lol they always say Im a bitch too funny

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I’m an introvert too….I try to be friendly tho…so it’s not usually mistaken for rudeness

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Necole your post is right on time. I have never got mistaken for rude but I have been called conceited weird or that I think I’m too good for people. I just started a new job and in my head I’m screaming talk to people but nothing comes out. Being an introvert can be super draining and painful. Like I sometimes even find it hard to talk to my family and boyfriend if I haven’t been around them in a while. I wish people could understand this instead of just calling me weird. Like yea I might be different and speak super proper English but if you talk to me I’ll talk back.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I am definitely an INTROVERT … I don’t welcome people into my space easily and would rather be alone. I’m told that I have an infectious personality and can be the life of the party — I laugh to myself and say Really? Because I so don’t like to be around people … #Comfortablebeingalone#imdifferent#ijs

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Me too!! Its kinda terrible

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Me tooooo!!! #onlychildsyndrome

  • Simply__Shawn
    Reply
    9 Feb ’14

    I too battle with the fact that I’m an introvert. Ironically, I’m also an Virgo. Your courage to speak your truth, is very helpful for us all who struggle with the same problem. Thank you, Necole Bitchie!

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I’d say, I’m an introvert too!

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Me too.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I am an introvert and because of it people think I think I’m better than them. They say I’m stand-offish.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I am definitely an introvert! I been like this since I was a little girl and now that I’m twenty-nine, it hasn’t changed. You’re right about how the most creative people are introverts because I’m working on my first novel. And thorough my characters, I get to express myself!

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I too am an introvert. It’s SO draining to attend parties with strangers, but with close friends/family I’m fine. It may sound strange, but I feel very relaxed when I’m by myself.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I’m a true extrovert!

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Story of my life!

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Some people mistake you for being stuck up or stand off ish.. Not true.. Once we really get to know you and comfortable we will open up..

  • 9 Feb ’14

    The only thing that drains me is people who intrude on my space without observing the mood first. Like walking into a room loudly while I’m reading a book or being way too needy. Sit there and be quiet or leave. Lol

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I’m actually both, an introvert and extrovert; at least that’s what my professor said. It depends what environment I’m in.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    welcome to the IN club :p if you do the Myers Briggs test, you will find out exactly which type of introvert you are. ever since I’ve found out, it’s been easier for me to go through life not thinking something is wrong with me. read Susan Cain’s Quiet book on being an introverted leader and living a quiet life.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    That’s so me so often misunderstood for being “stuck up”.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Why do people think everyone has to be outgoing and bubbly all the time?

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I can be both introverted and extroverted depending on who I’m around. I am very guarded towards most strangers and I’m def anxious in some social situations that involve meeting new ppl. I’ve met a lot of ppl that make assumptions abt me based on my exterior and automatically assume that I’m stuck up. At that point the 1st impression is perceived and not actual.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    i can be both it depends but when ppl meet me they judge me & think i would be stuck up then theyre like omg ur so cool

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I think people are even more likely to mistake introversion for being “stuck up” if you are pretty, polished, and/or intelligent.

  • Cheyenne
    Reply
    9 Feb ’14

    Hi Necole,

    Omg! It was so inspiring that you wrote about this. Being a Virgo, I always get labeled as “stuck up” or “rude” because I do get extreme anxiety when meeting new people. Especially if it becomes something where I talk to them on Instagram or something and then they think I am rude in person. I have been dealing with it my entire life. If I already know someone it is fine but meeting new people I get really nervous. I’m so glad that I am not the only one and to see all these comments really lets me know I am not crazy!!! Me and Wale have the same birthday so I agree with him 100%!!! Thanks again for sharing!!

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Shy as a child. Introverted in adulthood, but relaxed and open once I get to know you. Everyone can’t be the same and nobody should be expected to open up to any and everyone they meet in that first instant. That to me is an alien concept..

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Yep everyone thinks I’m rude but I’m the ultimate introvert. My friends know I’m a loud mouth jerk with them but new ppl and big crowds freak me out for some reason.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    The biggest introvert on the planet…thought i was socially awkward at first

  • 9 Feb ’14

    I am too. Which often gets mistaken for stuck up

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Necole Bitchie.com Inspired me to run my celebrity website and Facebook page. Her Bio is amazing…Shows determination to be successful.

  • 9 Feb ’14

    Yes, I am.. I hate when ppl say’ I thought you was stuck up’

  • Tiffany
    Reply
    9 Feb ’14

    Necole after reading this, I get you more than ever. I’m 24 and a virgo! (september 9th!) ever since I can remember I’ve been introverted and suffer from a bit of social anxiety. Part of it stems from being overweight for most of my life. When I was in school I had no problem giving presentations because I had time to prepare what I was going to say. However, If someone asked me for my opinion on the spot I literally freeze up and start stumbling over my words. I rather stay home on a friday night then have to go out and force myself to socialize with people I have no interest speaking to. Although I have lost a significant amount of weight I still get very anxious meeting new people, having confrontations, and participating in group discussions.

  • Terri B
    Reply
    9 Feb ’14

    Hi Necole, I’m an introvert as well. I can relate to a lot of what you were saying. I don’t have anxiety because of it, but I understand many people do. Your line “…most comfortable when I’m alone” could have been written by me. This has always bothered my family, it’s only now they are coming to realize why. Recently, my Mom expressed how for years she wondered why I always disappeared when people were over. She said you interact for a few and then you’re gone. I emailed her an article on introverts and she admitted she considered that was my “issue”. Thank you for opening up and sharing, I know it was a difficult and brave thing to do for an introvert. All the best!

  • Kolei Vaughn
    Reply
    9 Feb ’14

    Being an introvert is definitely NOT limited to Virgos. I am an introverted Libra who struggles with social anxiety daily.

  • Ty
    Reply
    10 Feb ’14

    Being an introvert is one of the things I hate most about myself. It has cost me all of the few friendships I had and most importantly, family. I do not get phone calls or invited places by family members because of my social awkwardness. When people are around, I am silent. So I am just stuck in my apartment most of the time lonely as ever. It sucks.

  • Tierney
    Reply
    10 Feb ’14

    Thanks for sharing your story. As you can see, tons of people can relate.

  • Brittney La'chelle
    Reply
    10 Feb ’14

    It’s definitely not a virgo thing I’m a capricorn and I can definitely relate.

  • 10 Feb ’14

    I am definitely an introvert. But I can be friendly and really goofy and fun too. I really have to feel my way with people but if I feel a person, Im in.

  • 10 Feb ’14

    –I myself deal with social awkwardness and after reading the article about introverts, I definitely am one lol. Although I never really was called rude, I always found myself distancing myself, even when I wanted to be around people, because I deal with social anxiety, which only my family knows. I always thought I was just shy, but there is something else going on here lol. After reading your story, I am inspired to still go after my dreams without this stopping me. It’s crazy that a lot of people deal with this in life. Thanks again =)

  • 10 Feb ’14

    Yup indeed!

  • Victoria Anne
    Reply
    10 Feb ’14

    This was such a relief to read and know I’m not the only one like this. Thank you for writing about this subject because a lot of people just don’t get it.

  • 10 Feb ’14

    Introvert and Virgo at the same damn time.

  • Kelsey
    Reply
    10 Feb ’14

    Thanks Necole!!! Its feels good to know I’m not the only one with this problem. And you’re right! I would have never guessed someone like you or Wale (people we view as “celebs”) would have this problem.
    I’m a cancer, and I have A LOT of the Cancer traits. Homebody, in my shell like the crab, sensitive, quiet…the list goes on.
    I always thought I was so weird because is rather stay at home by myself or with a friend or two before going out to the club or a party. To the point to where I’ve tried to FORCE myself to go to clubs & no matter how hard I try it’s just NOT my scene, I can’t get into it. Whenever I go, I always end up leaving 20-30min into being there because it’s just too much.
    I’ve even had professional counseling to see what I could do about my social anxiety. Oddly enlighten I do kinda agree with Duval to some extent. At least in my case. I have some insecurities that do make me overthink & over analyze EVERY situation. After being around a bunch of people or hanging with a lot of people I’ll leave feeling like they’re all judging me. It sucks

  • 10 Feb ’14

    I am an introvert… I prefer books over people…

  • Linda
    Reply
    10 Feb ’14

    ^^^^
    Everything Kelsey just said! The only reason I haven’t seen a counselor is because likely they will prescribe something (it’s the American way) and I’m not interested in being medicated. It’s not that serious to me.

    I also agree that it may be related to insecurities. I had a rough childhood, so much so that my own kids will be homeschooled to some extent. It’s taken way to long for me to get over the things I was teased relentlessly about & it changed who I became in life. I’m confident NOW but I feel that I’m at least 20 years behind because I had to overcome so much. UGH!

    Anyway, thanks for sharing! I wish you would consider writing a book about this. Lots of other black women/bloggers are writing books on dating and that is sooo dry and overDONE. People out here have real issues beyond trying to attract a man and your reveal has already helped me a ton! Please consider it.

  • Danielle
    Reply
    10 Feb ’14

    Thank you for sharing! People always think I’m stuck up and when they get to know me they always say they are wrong about me! I’m just very cautious of letting people in my “inner circle”. Small talk & networking gives me serious anxiety! I hate meeting new people because I feel like I have to find things to talk about & that stresses be out more so I just stay home! Lol! But glad to hear there are plenty of introverts who are weird like me! Lol

  • yo ebz
    Reply
    10 Feb ’14

    I never would’ve thought that celebrities were introverts. I definitely learned something new. And that 23 signs article at the bottom of the story was so on point. I was sitting here mentally checking yes for each of the signs they described, especially the one about screening calls not calling folks back until I was mentally ready for the conversation lol

  • 10 Feb ’14

    Soooo me! The crazy part is that I’m a Leo! Yes, the bold, daring, often entertaining, always charismatic Leo! Life really did a number on me so I’m quite comfortable alone with my computer, a to-do list and my Shihtzu. But it’s not the best thing when it comes to running my businesses! It took me FOREVER just to use my actual name on social media accounts. I do have the typical Leo characteristics once I get to know you… or if I’m tipsy. ;0) I’ve been trying to figure out a happy medium for awhile! Thanks for being so open, that took some guts! It’s always good to find people that you share common characteristics with! Otherwise, we get stuck thinking that we are flawed instead of the wonderful beings that we all are!

  • janelle
    Reply
    10 Feb ’14

    im glad you spoke on this matter. it just helped me understand whats going on with me
    . Thank you!!

  • J
    Reply
    10 Feb ’14

    I am an introvert and it is only an issue at work. I am comfortable doing things alone and like alone time and others can’t comprehend this.
    I also am slow to warm up to people, especially in the workplace. This I think is more life experience influenced.

    I think as we age we just become more comfortable being ourselves. Everyone should just being free to live as you wish. I would rather be different and being true to myself.

  • Allison
    Reply
    10 Feb ’14

    I am a Virgo who happens to have an anxiety disorder as well. It is a preface for someone to not do something. Now Bipolar disorder yeah I can believe that that happened in that situation. But not with anxiety. I love Wale and will continue to listen to his music. His decision not to take a photo with the young lady is again his preface. I always tell my acquaintance celebrities are just like us,but with higher expectations that have pressure and scrutiny attached to it. Only stating my opinion.

  • J
    Reply
    10 Feb ’14

    My department did the Myers Briggs test as a “team building” exercise and it turned into an uncomfortable situation because the extroverts bonded over it and it almost highlighted the differences.

  • Samantha Butterfly
    Reply
    10 Feb ’14

    I knew that I was always shy as a little girl and in my adult life I am still a little shy but I fight through it depending on the circumstance. I discovered that I am a introvert a couple of years back when I was taking a psychology course in college. I can be so bold and expressive on paper and social sites but when I am in a crowd I feel a little withdrawn but without planning, I fight through it and conquer. I give about 70% fight and 30% withdrawal (lol). Oh, and I am not a Virgo, I am a Scorpio.

  • 10 Feb ’14

    my daughter is this way

  • 10 Feb ’14

    I def am and PROUD

  • 10 Feb ’14

    I think I can be both….

  • 10 Feb ’14

    OMG!!! Its not just me… My boyfriends brother was in town this weekend and I felt like I was being rude…. But I know that it takes me a while to get comfortable with new people around. So I just remained quiet.

  • 10 Feb ’14

    Introverts are the next it thing, glad I am one

  • Ne Ne aka iB@S
    Reply
    12 Feb ’14

    I’m an introvert as well…and it sucks because… it holds me back.

  • Angel
    Reply
    17 Feb ’14

    I’m an introvert, have social anxiety and also depression. I’ve tried to not let it take over my life but I’m now going to drop out of uni because of it…again. It makes life pointless 🙁

  • noralin
    Reply
    18 Feb ’14

    I’ve been this way my whole life but I learned to adapt because I’m a hairstylist which means I have to be around ppl .I learned to fake it but I hate social gatherings because I’m usually in a corner somewhere on my phone n ppl think im stuck up as well. The anxiety makes my stomach hurt. I’m 40 now and my teenagers are the same. They hate being around ppl.except for close family

  • 27 Feb ’14

    Such truth! I went through high school and college not being able to put a finger on what was wrong with me. I never knew what to say in social situations and then would obsess about them for days on end leading to depression.

    Now that I know I have anxiety I can deal with it. It’s not a weakness! Very sad that some view mental illness as a personality flaw.

  • Dapo
    Reply
    26 May ’14

    Wow! This is so me. I’m so glad I’m not alone. You know, i really have to be comfortable around you for me to open up to you. I fought with it for so long till I finally accepted that’s who I am. Its really hard for people to understand, its gives me great relief to know a lot of special people out there are like me.

  • tiffany
    Reply
    26 May ’14

    Thanks for posting this Necole. This really spoke to me, though I am not a Virgo, but a Leo, which i think being introvert has
    nothing to do with sign of one’s birth month. I became more of an introvert due to of shame in my life, from childhood, which i am working
    through. As you did, i am working on freeing myself from shame by getting the help i need.

  • 27 May ’14

    The plethora of secrets for many of the most preferred online games is proof
    that computers and machines remain often a bad complement to the attention and
    cunning potential from the human being mind. Yes, time to
    cheat her out of every dollar we can squeeze out of her.

    This makes it hard for your friends to discover your ‘dirty little secret’.

  • It doesn't matter
    Reply
    27 May ’14

    Wow, I can seriously relate to you Necole. I was actually thinking this personality trait was a curse until I ran across your thoughts which may have changed my perception of myself actually. Thank you for that. I don’t know/think that your sign has anything to do with it though – could be wrong. Plus I have a twin who is the complete opposite of me. But the irony of me being an introvert is that I actually deliver very important presentations daily & regularly have to stand up in front of highly educated, versed and confident people for the financial institution I work for. However, I have trouble with connecting with people outside of that. I’ve been told that I can come off as “bougie” but am honestly one of the most down to earth, cool people you’ll ever meet. My circle of friends is very minimal however that is because I look at most as associates & am very careful with whom I deem a “friend”. All in all, thanks for sharing & I too am working on being a better me.

  • Andrea
    Reply
    2 Jun ’14

    Hey Nicole, thank you so much for writing this posts. I’m an introvert as well, and ppl definitely can mistake introvert qualities as rudeness. I really appreciate someone of your caliber being open an honest about your struggle with social anxiety. It makes me feel less alone out here! 🙂

  • frenchie mo
    Reply
    5 Jun ’14

    I’m glad u made this post Necole. I’m introverted with anxiety attacks, all of my bestfriends, mother, closest cousins and even my husband are extroverts. With them I can be more outgoing. Because they bring out my crazy. 🙂 I love being alone, and my husband sometimes feels neglected. Around other family members, in laws and new ppl, I’m very meek. The only time I feel comfortable to talk, is on the topic of art, rap, and interior decorating, or my kids. Which helped me make the decision to quit my deadend desk job. Go to school to start my business in decorating and art. It’s all about what makes you thrive. And everyone thinks Im was a “L7 square” ,until they see me angry. Lol now I’m not the butt of everyone’s jokes. I may not be able to talk sh*t on the regular but when I’m pissed, I talk more sh*t than anybody.

  • Kerry
    Reply
    1 Jul ’14

    I am also an introvert and there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. If there is something wrong with being an introvert, then there should also be something wrong with being an extrovert. There is nothing wrong with being either. everyone’s personality is different. For me being an introvert has made me very observant, and i can read people and decide who i want to associate with. Also that comment lil Duval made was so ignorant. Maybe he should pick up a book or google introvert and insecurity, and maybe he will know the difference and gain some knowledge so he can get rid of some of that ignorance.

  • 7 Jul ’14

    Your style is very unique in comparison to other folks I have read
    stuff from. I appreciate you for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I
    will just book mark this blog.

  • Nlizabelle
    Reply
    1 Dec ’14

    Another great write up Necole!

  • Kia
    Reply
    29 May ’15

    OMG!!! This describes me to a T!!! My heart is racing to know I can relate 100%! Im sitting here in tears!!! I would love to share my story with you regarding this and get your feedback and some type of inspiration!!! I have been dealing with THIS and it has been a battle within itself. Email me pleaseeee!! Pleaseeee!!

  • ChaneL
    Reply
    3 Jul ’15

    I am in introvert too. i get anxious i hate when i tell it to somebody and they try to tell me that i am not… It’s like they refuse to accept it.

  • 6 Jul ’15

    Add me to the list of “Me too’s!” I’ve always been an introvert. I graduated from an Ivy league university, & have a nice corporate job. In my mind, I think I am supposed to be “well spoken” but I get anxiety speaking in front of people. I know it is something I can overcome. Thanks for sharing. xo

  • Tia
    Reply
    27 Jul ’15

    Great article. Very true. People hate to be judged. The moment you open up and share pieces of yourself that may not be the most talked about or glamorous, your viewed in a different light and judged. I think it’s our job as people to uplift and encourage people through their difficult times and make them feel comfortable.

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