What is it about men loving crazy women and vice versa?
A few weeks ago, I caught up with my DMV buddy Wale at BOA Steakhouse and jokingly repeated back to him a quote I heard him say on the radio:
I like girls that are a little crazy because the physical aspect of the relationship is a lot better. Maybe I gotta re-prioritized the things that I like.
Passionate and insanity are like cousins- a very thin line. If we were in a relationship and we had a misunderstanding and it was no stepping outside that, I want her to be passionate enough to slash my tires if I step out on her.
Wale’s eyes lit up at just the thought of a crazy woman. I could feel his excitement! Like that’s deep. On his record ‘Passive Aggress-Her’, he spits the lyrics “I’m in love with a woman that’s crazy, maybe it’s the way she praise me’, however he’s not alone. Most men and women love just a tad bit of dysfunction in their relationships because they believe it’s validation of how much their significant other feels or cares about them.
How crazy are you about me? Show me?
Men love to play fixer upper with a woman with issues as well as feel wanted and needed. They also believe crazy women are passionate in bed. Some women, on the other hand, love for their men to show how much they love or care about them in public, even if it means he is storming up in the club with pajama pants or footies on to grab her up out of there in front of everyone.
I remember I had an ex-boyfriend who would show up while I was hanging out with friends and everyone would clear the room. He wouldn’t say a word, just would storm in, give me that look and I would follow right behind him. (I was 18, I didn’t know any better). He never put his hands on me or raised his voice but I just knew not to step out of line and other guys would not even look my way out of fear. I think in a way I felt protected and as though he wouldn’t let anyone do anything to harm me, especially my mom’s abusive boyfriend that I was dealing with at home at the time. As the relationship progressed I found myself asking, ‘what if this guy eventually turns into ‘your mom’s boyfriend,” and I realized that he had all of the qualities of this other man that I disliked so much. I then began to fear my boyfriend and that eventually made me leave the relationship.
As I grew a bit older and matured, any signs of aggression in the beginning stages of the relationship started to scare me off. Things like talking in a threatening tone, mental abuse, raising his voice, etc were the first indication of the relationship headed in a not so healthy direction. I made a promise to myself that I was not going to be that girl caught up in a dysfunctional or abusive relationship. I wanted better for myself.
So I have to ask, what attracts people to those type of relationships? Abuse? Dysfuntion? and just plain out craziness?
I’ve heard many stories from women over time and I always ask, ‘How did you get to that point’? What made you sit outside of his house or almost run him over with your car? What made him hang you over a balcony? I’ve never ever thought about slashing any tires, called up the ‘other girl’ or anything that people classify as being ‘coo coo’. I have, however, had some bouts of ‘crazy’ mental games that I’m sure cut deeper than a slashed tire..haha.
Thankfully I’ve been so focused on my goals over the past few years that I haven’t been emotionally invested enough in any one person to get to that point. I can’t say that I never will because I’ve learned over time that when you’ve invested a great amount of time and energy into someone and allowed them into your heart… it’s almost inevitable to act out of character when that person does something to hurt you.
I remember Big Sean saying in our interview
I just think it’s human nature to be crazy, especially when you love somebody.
And that in itself is why I am very careful about who I’m willing to give my heart to. It’s alright to be crazy in love, but that ‘crazy love’ is for the birds..
What’s passion without crazy?! When I was in love I would do anything! It was wild lol. Passion is just a deep strong emotion –love hard, hate hard, scream hard, basically just go hard! Crazy does keep the mind and heart going. Now we don’t want murderers or stalkers but it’s always nice to know that my guy can lose his mind a bit over me 😉
The first time I snapped on my guy about something he did, he looked at me and smiled. I’m like, what’s funny? He said, you’re the first woman who stood up to me and let me know what time it is. That’s a turn on, he says. He even admitted to doing things he knew would piss me off just to see me go ape. Four years later when I snap and he tells me to chill, I smile and say, Oh no! This is what you like remember?
My point is, more men than you think like crazy/passionate women.
LADIES…PEEP GAME! at http://www.peepgame.net. (Don’t hate the player, learn the Game!)
I wonder who REALLY thinks it’s true that “…it’s human nature to be crazy, especially when you love somebody”. I wonder if a parent would tell their daughter that?
I don’t think he meant it as in a literal sense. Right after that statement, he gave an example of his girl checking his twitter and phone before she ended up grabbing his watch and throwing it out of the window followed by a string of things that were ‘out of character’. She was acting off of emotion of being in love but also being hurt by what she found (I’m assuming). So in his mind she as ‘acting crazy’. When you get to a point in a relationship when you start seeing yourself do things like ‘breaking into your significant other email accounts’ (basically snooping), sitting outside their house, following them to club or even worse, the relationship turns physical, that’s a clear sign it’s time to go as once it gets to that point, there is really no turning back.
Men will accept crazy up until a certain point. Slashing tires got me arrested! As a matter of fact, I’m on my way to court now as I’m reading this. Be careful ladies. Sometimes if he’s able to take you to that point, it may be time to go.
Oh lord….!!!
I get the ‘crazy love thing’. i was with my guy for 4 years, before moving from toronto to dc, because i graduated uni and was moving back to the states. 4 years is a long time, and it was a crazy tumultious passionate relationship. im talking about everytime we were on a ‘break’ he wouldnt even let anyone else talk to me, hed still come over like we were together, just act out of character. well, he built the crazy right into me… after not seeing him for a year, and realizing that some other girl is talking to him, i went to toronto for the weekend just out of the blue recently and turned their world upside down. it was his birhtday weekend, and lets just say- hes still my man. i guess its both ways, if he didnt want to see me/pick me up/take me out/cook for me and actually liked her he wouldnt have. but now that im back in dc, and he’s deleted me from his facebook cuz i text her after the crazy bitch came at me via a fb message, he’s decided hes ‘mad’ at me. I dont know why im telling this story, maybe i need some help. i thought i was over him and had moved on, mind you im ‘talking’ to someone here in dc… but toronto truly has my heart, even if he is crazy. crazy love, i know and get the definition; now how the hell do you get out of it!?!
Yes keep that crazy love, because being crazy is a tad bit different! To me, crazy love is dangerous love, which means it’s not really love at all.
Necole, I for one completely agree with you. I,by nature am really low key in general. I don’t pop off, scream, yell or throw fits; I just never have (my mom always hated this about me as she said I seemed apathetic or indifferent). This past summer I was dating (VERY briefly) a guy who did everything right initially and I was excited just to get to know him because we fell hard for each other in a very short amount of time. After the initial courtship I started noticing that he was always questioning me on everything especially when it pertained to my feelings (we had only been dating for a month or so at this point). Soon there was a lot of second guessing on his part on where we stood, and even though I was 100% honest with him, he didn’t believe me. So I started trying to “prove” that I liked him, & I went well above and beyond what I normally would have done, but he was so attached to his insecurities that he started acting different even in spite of this. So different to the point that I was damn near hysterical in trying to fix whatever it was we were trying to have. It wasn’t until I was hysterically crying or calling him to talk that he would calm down and finally be comfortable with our “relationship”. But with him, I soon realized there had to be some kind of drama every week because if things were going too smoothly he would think it was too good to be true. Long story short, I snapped out of it and realized that in the 26 years I’d been living, and the 10 years I’d actually been of dating age, I never ever had to endure any type of drama he was putting me through. The guy had his own issues to work on, but I could tell that he was used to crazy women being in his life because that was proof to him that they cared and so he tried his best to get me to the same point of crazy… Thing is, I’m too busy with my own life for the “crazy” kind of love that Wale speaks about. I bore easily and that crazy thing does nothing for me. I don’t understand it- I like my sanity.
I have had a simular conversation with my girlfriend. I am sorta quiet and low key but she likes for me to get riled up and excited behind her. She says doing those crazy things shows how much I love her…why can’t I just tell her I love her and skip the drama??
Forget that!!!!! This goes for MALES & FEMALES if anyone gets you to the point where you have to come out of your original character and act like a maniac than I call that a unhealthy relationship and its time to LEGO lol !! YEA YEA YEAH I understand no relationship is perfect but thats why relationships come with an OPEN DOOR POLICY and if you are in love with that person sometimes you have to love that person enuff to let them go !!! Truth b told aint noone worth going to jail for or getting a criminal record for especially when yall not even MARRIED in the first place lol Cause when the dust settles the damage is done and IM SORRY cant fix everything !!