I’m about six weeks into the New Year and already I’m off to such a GREAT start. I’ve managed to do a good job shielding negativity out of my life, I’m eating right, traveling and just enjoying life. Last year it was about my blog, this year it’s about “doing me”. Last year I worked 24/7 (I was working in my sleep) making sure that I didn’t have to go back to a 9-5. I used to be on the internet all day but I’ve managed to successfully chopped that time in half and even more so, chopped the time I spend on the actual site down to about 3 hours a day. I’ve also had two other sites that I built up to be bigger than the nb site, however I’d rather not reveal my identity behind those sites. The anonymous thing definitely has it’s perks and I’ve realized that even more this year after putting my images on my header. So right now I’m living the best of both worlds…ha!!
When I was in New York last week, so many opportunities were presented to me that meant HUGE MONEY but I turned them down for now. First and foremost when building your team, you have to make sure that everyone’s goals are inline with your own. IF not, you’ll end up “all over the place” and totally lose yourself in the process. I feel a person that fell victim to this was Dave Chappelle (remember he disappeared and ran to Africa?). He achieved the success he wanted but it wasn’t on his terms and he found himself getting “lost” in his success.
Last year the biggest lesson I learned was to not take on “too much” because you will end up driving yourself crazy and what good is it to work yourself to death if you can’t reap the benefits of your rewards. I think I mentioned in an interview last year something about Perez Hilton and people took that as I wanted to be the Next Perez Hilton. What I meant is, I admired how he branded himself as a blogger, personality and brand. The truth is for me to be the next Perez Hilton, I’d have to be more “commercial” and to that I proudly say “No Thank You”. I proudly speak to my young african american sistas (and some brothas) in the early 20s and 30s that’s dealing with some of the life situations that I am or have been through. That’s my target audience. I don’t want to get pigeon holed into just celebrity gossip but I want to touch the real issues, especially when it comes to Relationships. I never had a GREAT example of what one was growing up in a single parent household and watching my mom’s failed attempts at making one work. So I”m so extremely curious about what different people think when it comes to different relationship situations. (the jump offs, the abuse, holding down a family and still being able to climb the latter in your career etc”). ..and it makes me extremely happy that I can talk about that on the blog and create dialogue surrounding that. The issue is when you reach a certain number of readers and a certain level of success, people expect you to be up on the latest news, …they try to throw you in a box and say “You are a gossip blogger..you are just supposed to give us gossip and that’s it!!!” But the good thing about my site being named Necole Bitchie is it’s all about my thoughts and what interests me, whether it be celebrities, whether it be gossip, whether it be events, whether it be sex, whether it be relaitonships, whether it be my issues as a twenty something year old african american female woman.
I still remember the day I became Necole Bitchie. It was May of 2007 and I was in DC and this guy that was in the music industry took me out to dinner. Throughout the night I felt as if he took every opportunity to belittle me as a person. I could tell he looked at me as naive, young and a pushover. I revealed to him during the course of the meal that I was leaving my temp job and moving to New York the next week and he abruptly cut me off and said “Have you ever thought about LA?”. I shrugged and he continued “California would be perfect for you, you have the look. New York will eat you up. You are young, pretty and too nice. No one will take you serious”.
I remember leaving the dinner distraught but that day I told myself that I would NEVER let anyone tell me I couldn’t do anything. I moved to New York the next week and one night I went out with a friend of mine (aura who runs all that’s fab) and just observed the scene. The next night I changed my entire look up. I started wearing these outrageous combinations of clothing and colors, I would make my hair extremely big and I adopted the moniker Necole Bitchie (playing off of Nicole Richie..lol). At the time the Simple LIfe was out and I remember I couldn’t stand them two (paris & nicole and their fabulous lifestyles when mine wasn’t so fab) at the time. Also, the Bitchie took a stab at the guy saying that “I was too nice”. I was thinking “do i really have to be “bitchy” to get some respect?? I’m just sayin”
We started tearing up the club scenes and industry parties and I’d rsvp to each one as Necole Bitchie so when we would get to the door, we had no issues getting in because the door person would remember putting my name on the list (probably like “who the hell is this”) and with my wild hair and look people just automatically assumed i was “somebody”. Aura said to me one day “You HAVE to keep your hair like that!!!”. Looking back it’s funny, but I had the name for 6 months before I even started the site.
Anyway I say this to say, when I go into business meetings people have all these grand ideas of How to make me HUGE star and are so disappointed when I turn them down. I’m right where I want to be. My traffic is right where I want it to be. The things I write about are true to my heart and as long as I touch one person each day in some sort of way, my job is done.
I sat in my girl’s room while I was in DC and while talking to her about my life I broke down crying. I wasn’t crying because I was sad, but because of the overwhelming feeling of joy that GOD YOU BROUGHT ME THROUGH!. Less than a year before then, I was in that exact room with all of my stuff packed in my car, with no job, no money and no idea where I was going. My site was a few weeks old and I had no idea if it was going to work out or how I was going to make money from it back then. While reliving that moment in her room, All I kept saying to her was “I WORKED SO HARDDDDDDDDDDDD! while tears streamed down my face. When I was working in corporate america, I barely could get to work on time 9am every morning, but now I work for myself and I get up religiously 630am every single morning to get up and blog and provide entertainment for people I don’t even know. That takes dedication!
People can say what they want about me, but no one will ever be able to take my drive away from me. 2008 was the milestone in my life. You either do it or die trying.
And I did it….
Hi, I'm Necole!
i’m not sure why i got all teary eyed(well, i AM a bit crazy. . but that’s neither here nor there). I think it’s beacause your drive inspires me. i’m a mommy of four, some college and working as a substitue teacher while taking classes for radiology. i’m in the begining stages of writing a book. i feel though some ppl close me don’t recognize the movement so to speak. it gets a little discouraging they act as if are behind me but i know they could really caRE less. however i know they’ll be the first to wanna rear the benefits of my success. before i get A.D. D and forget where i was going with this. . keep doing your thing. YOU NEVER KNOW HOW YOUR WORDS WILL AFFECT SOMEONE POSITIVLY!! i love the site =) thanks for not giving up on your dream! * p.s. . umm could you hook a sistah up with terrence j? LOL*
Thanks for your insight, i guess what with your name, the rebranding of your site and the interview i figured that maybe your goal was to be like your own kind of Perez. I even sent you a twitter about it the other day which i deleted the same day (before i read this )because…i’m not sure, but it didnt feel right for some reason.
I’m 23 and i have just left my ‘comfort zone’ in terms of work, to continue my dreams and help others to dream and show that life can be great and that dreams can be reality. Initially financially it wasn’t the easiet but i have made in throught + more, plus the ideas and oppertunities that have opened up for me have been amazine. I am on the journey to achieving my goals and i feel great in my now, while feeling excited about my future.
So again, thanks for your insight!!
Necole,
Stay Blessed and TRUE to you and 2009 will be even better!
Thank god for you. You show the young african- american women in the entertainment industry that they can succeed in the industry without being a video vixen or groupie
I think you are doing a good job! Its a realness about your site that keeps me interested with that said I think that a lot of your readers that comment are very disrespectful to you. I get happy when you answer them back but damn they are a trip!! Anyone that can handle that deserves all the blessings that comes to them.
@xxNelXX wow you are only 23!!! you are doing it girl!!
@cecie reed thank you
@deena um..i’ll email you
@misspretty that’s just one thing you have to deal with as a blogger. Alot of people won’t agree with what you have to say but it doesn’t bother me when they come under and say rude things. I do tend to go the hell off some time but at the end of the day they don’t know me…and I don’t know them LOL. Truth be told I don’t get to read most of the comments so i’m sure there has been some stuff that was said about me that I dont know about..lol
I completely understand your drive girl. I HATE working 9 to 5 and I’m really trying to get out of corporate America. It’s draining me and to be honest, it depresses me because I’m not happy. I’m trying soooooooooo hard to be self employed and hopefully one of these days I will be (and soon). But keep on shining girl and continue to keep your head up!! You’re a REAL TRUE inspiration.
wow, that took incredible guts. to leave everything behind that was secure and stable, like your 9-5, to venture into the unknown only hoping for success. Im going through the same thing now. My 9-5 is not motivating me, i feel stuck and like im not doing what im supposed to be doing. Your story is motivating. Keep it up!!
My heart is racing as I read this, racing with joy and anticipation. I too want to be able to tell a similar story and I will. It’s encouraging to know you are multi faceted as well, but still able to maintain a level of sanity and enjoy yourself. HOW DO YOU DO IT??!?!?!! This is the third time this week I’ve read/heard someone say “not take on “too much” because you will end up driving yourself crazy and what good is it to work yourself to death if you can’t reap the benefits of your rewards.” Well you know what? I’ve been doing just that, driving myself crazy and it’s mainly b/c I don’t want to fail!!! And I won’t. You did it in 1 year with nothing to lose and that is encouraging. I thank you for sharing your story and I’ll be sure to fwd you mine…lol. Be blessed
You never cease to amaze me. Your a bright light in this world. I’m happy that you have found your definition of joy. THAT is what makes you rich. Selling your soul to benefit someone elses vision of what you should be is the path to damnation. Keep to your standards. you a a beautiful but more importantly intelligent black woman. You make me so proud.
OMGoodness!!! I am so loving your vibes! Email me, I am finally relinquishing FEAR. I am successful in many ways but the criticism….i’ll have to email you. too much for the post. Keep doing a fabulous job.
You have a positive aura about you which is really good. I can relate alot to the experiences you have been through cause I have been through the same myself.
Wow, I am in the same exact position you were a year ago…and I’m about to do the same exact thing online and with my marketing consulting business. Thank you Thank You Thank You for confirmation!!
kudos to you Necole! I need some serious advice, Woman, lol… I am trying to start my own blog/site. Can you give me some sound advice? How did you start, who designed your site, how do I make my PASSION into my own?
keep up the great work!