I used to rush through airports.
Back when I was a celebrity gossip blogger, I spent a lot of time running through airport terminals to catch flights. I was never early or on time. I’d always show up barely missing check-in for bags and would get to the gate just moments before doors were to close and the plane was to take off.
It’s almost like I got an adrenaline rush from just making it.
As soon as I reached my destination, I’d be whisked off in a car to a hotel, then rushed through a glam session, before rushing off to an event, and the next day I’d wake up to rush to the airport again.
It was like a non-ending cycle of rushing to get to the next moment.
Things changed a little bit for me in 2012, when I landed in Sweden. It was my first time overseas.
I had been invited to go on a 7 day, 7 country tour with Rihanna but had decided to skip out on the first three dates after finding out that there would be no wi-fi on the plane throughout the trip. My business was entirely online-based so I had to plug in, and me being unplugged for seven days meant I’d be losing money. That couldn’t happen.
So here I was in Sweden at 6am in the morning panicking because I had no way of contacting anyone to figure out where I’d be rushing to next. I popped a $20 into a machine which allowed me to access internet for 20 minutes and to my luck I received an email from the label rep notifying me that they were way behind schedule and wouldn’t be meeting me at the airport for a few hours.
5 hours to be exact.
“What am I going to do for 5 hours with no Internet or phone service?” I remember thinking. At that point in my life, and with how intense my career had become keeping up with celebrity lives, I had never been unplugged that long except in my sleep. I felt like a dope fein needing her fix as the first hour went by. What was happening in the world that I was missing out on? Was I missing some big news on Twitter? FOMO was kicking in at it’s finest.
By hour two, I found myself relaxing a little and I started taking in the moment. I took note of my breathing pattern to past the time and I started observing my surroundings.
Airport couples
If you’ve ever spent time in an airport arrivals or departures terminal before, especially International, it can be a beautiful thing. It can cause a range of emotions as you watch husbands kissing babies they may not get to see for weeks or months on end. Best friends reuniting. Long lost loves finding their way back to each other. No matter how long you spend waiting in the terminal, it’s inevitable that you will see a lot of love. In all different forms.
I remember a sense of warmth came over me as a couple sat together, hugged and kissed, and embraced each other until they fell asleep. The warmth turned to sadness as I thought about my own life, and how I spent it rushing through airports, rushing to events, rushing to obtain another level of success, rushing to places where I would never make real connections and love was never the end goal.
Love was never the final destination.
Who have I turned into?
I spent the next four days rushing through Paris, Berlin, Germany, London and back to New York on a plane with 120 journalists and a pop star. I couldn’t tell you much about those cities or much about the trip because we rushed right through it. And when I returned home, I rushed straight to my computer and jumped back in the matrix of updating Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and my blog.
But deep down I knew I had to slow down. I had to experience life. I had to experience love and I couldn’t do it at the intensity that I was working. My days were filled with posting on Beyoncé and Blue Ivy sightings, the latest Kardashian fodder, celebrity beefs, break babies and fappenings. And I was tired of it all. It was draining.
These people were living their lives. And I was rushing to write about it.
I finally threw in the towel and closed down my celebrity gossip site a few years later. I also moved to Arizona, which allowed me to slow my life down a bit from the hectic lifestyle I was living in New York and LA.
And boy, did life open up. Yay!!!
Once the ‘rushing’ had ceased, and I wasn’t required to be plugged in all of the time, I found that I had more time on my hands. With that time, I developed deeper friendships. I reconnected with a few members of my family. I did more things that I enjoyed and I was able to live in my moments.
And I fell in love.
Three weeks ago, I stood outside an airport again short on time. This time I wasn’t rushing off to a destination, I was there to drop off the guy who had managed to win my heart. He was headed to Europe where he’d spend the next two years of his life and it was a very anxious moment for the both of us –and the future. Not knowing where we’d end up.
We hugged and kissed but everything seemed a little rushed since it was less than an hour until his plane would depart and we weren’t sure if his bags would make it. After one last hug, he ran inside and I jumped in my car and pulled off to head home.
But I knew I couldn’t let that be how our story ended. Rushed goodbyes.
So I looped around the airport terminal as fast as I could, ended up where I dropped him off three minutes later, and I illegally parked and ran inside with hopes that I didn’t miss him.
To my luck, he stood there with his back towards me as he printed a ticket at the kiosk.
This isn’t us but….
Before I knew it, I jetted off running towards him, pounced on him from behind and grasped him into a kiddie bear hug that he couldn’t fight his way out of.
After about 10 seconds, and him identifying me by my tiny little wrists, he turned around to face me. He had the most electrifying smile…
And in that moment we exuded the type of love that I saw in the airport in Sweden.
Unaware of anything else that was going on in the terminal, or in that moment, we exchanged another passionate hug and kiss, and he looked me in the eye and said, “we are going to be alright.” That was his assurance that he wouldn’t let distance tear us apart.
Nothing in that moment mattered. There is not one thing that could have happened in the world, on the web, on my social media accounts, that could have pulled me away from experiencing the intensity of that moment. I could feel everything from his heartbeat when he leaned into me, to my hair raise on my arms at the cue of his touch. Weeks later, I can still feel that moment. And I’m realizing that in order to feel love –REAL LOVE — you can’t rush a moment.
You have to let yourself go and fully drown in the moment.
It’s the only way to experience things at a higher frequency. It’s the only way to experience joy at the highest level, love and deeper connections.
You also have to learn to submit to the moment.
In the past, when I found myself worrying and asking questions like, “what happens after this, how long will this feeling last, and will this go away?” I knew that I wasn’t completely surrendering to the moment. I was living in the next moment. And that’s where most of our pain, anxiety and suffering in life originates. Anticipating the next moment while trying to force our desired outcome.
I don’t know what will happen in the next few days, months, or years. If I had my way, I would be running off in the sunset and living happily ever after. But I’ve allowed myself to stop rushing the process.
I’ve detached myself from the desired outcome in order to surrender to life and allow it to play out as it should.
I also have no idea how this story will end.
But what I do know, is that I’ll never rush through life again.
Do you find yourself rushing through life?
____________________________________
My name is Necole and I am a former celebrity gossip blogger. I now spend my life as the CEO of a women’s lifestyle site xoNecole.com, as well as a transitional coach for young women and entrepreneurs who feel stuck and are ready to press the ‘reset’ button and live the life of their dreams. To keep in touch, sign up for my mailing list, follow me on Instagram, or hit the contact button 🙂
Thanks for reading.
This was perfect!!! Thank you 🙂
WOW! This is exactly what I needed to hear and yes, I made the similar statement on this morning. So reading this amazing story has validated a true confirmation for me to live my life as well. Thanks for the great read and to know that love is still what it means LOVE no matter how far away something genuine and true still exist.
Hi diva. I’m loving this new you and the post. Very refreshing. Basically that’s the feeling when one is still. Keep inspiring!
Thank you for sharing this and allowing us to relate to you. Necole you are a gem.
This is beautiful Necole.
Thank you Necole I’m so happy for you and…I needed this article… Right on time bless you …no more rushing
I love this! as a person who is always rushing and was worried about the future one day i looked up at 37 yo and realize I’ve never been in love and life seemed to pass me lol. Ive slowed down and try to be in the moment as much as possible and enjoy not knowing how my story ends
Awesome!
That moment your behavior changes for the good of your growth, you know that you’re on to something. Keep being still when it matters Necole. ❤️
That moment your behavior changes for the good of your growth, you know that you’re on to something. Keep being still when it matters Necole. ❤️
good article
I really feel like I know you! I’m soooooo happy for you…proud even! CEO…entrepreneur…and now in LOVE! You go girl, lol! Thanks for always sharing and for being an inspiration! Love you!
Beautiful Necole…thank u so much. I always rush through moments. Always wanting to know what will happen next and life happens the way it will. In any moment i have be it alone or otherwise i need to enjoy it to the fullest
Great article! almost made me shed a tear at the end
I rushed the moment to get the outcome and lost it all. Have to learn to live in the moment. How do I do that??
Great read. I can totally relate to all of this. So happy for you, you deserve to all the happiness you’re finally experiencing! Thank you for sharing!
Great read. I can totally relate to all of this. So happy for you, you deserve to all the happiness you’re finally experiencing! Thank you for sharing!
“I’ve detached myself from the desired outcome in order to surrender to life and allow it to play out as it should.”
YES YES YES!! Great article!!!!
“I’ve detached myself from the desired outcome in order to surrender to life and allow it to play out as it should.”
YES YES YES!! Great article!!!!
Yes Necole! Its so amazing how our lives are so divinely ordered by God. Every single thing you’ve been through/ experienced has you right where you need to be, at this very moment. Im so inspired by your journey. & transitional coach? How perfect! Thank you for sharing. Xo
Yes Queen!! #blessed 🙂
Love it
Love this!! Shalini Dos Santos
I definitely needed to read this! I just recently realized that I had been rushing through life and that I needed to slow down. This article was definitely the conformation I needed. Thanks for sharing!
Wow! I needed to read this. I have been rushing through life the past 10 years. Starting today, I’m finding myself. Good article
Wow! I needed to read this. I have been rushing through life the past 10 years. Starting today, I’m finding myself. Good article
I so needed to read this thank you for sharing!!!
So needed this. Perfect. Puts everything into perspective.
Great article…
Very insightful! I was jusr reminded to live in the moment. Thank you for sharing.
This made me cry..
As from today I would learn to live In the moment its going to take some hard work by the way.. Thanks Necole
Love this! This is what enlightenment looks like.
Just beautiful! I’ve been following your career since 2009 and I admire your growth throughout your journey. I’m really happy for you.
Thank you so much!
So beautiful! Thanks for sharing, Necole.
This was everything Necole! I’m so happy for you! I have to learn to submit to the moment! I look forward to future writings from you!
I am going to try my best to write more. I just needed a muse. I needed inspiration. 🙂
I love it!! Living in the moment is difficult but so necessary. Being content where you are doesn’t mean you won’t still go after your goals and do those things you need to do to be successful. At 25, I’ve done so much but am I always asking what’s next. Your growth is inspiring!
Thank you, I needed that. Seizing the moments and opening up to all aspects of love in all forms is beautiful. Scary too…I decided a long time ago to just feel the emotions. What a journey!
You have always been such an inspiration. I have also slowed down! Leaning toward daily meditations. It’s nice to unplug and you are such a doll!!!
I love the inspiration you share through your own life experiences. I’m at the point of considering hitting the reset button on my life and your blog helped me realize that this is sort of normal. Hopefully it works out for me like it did for you.
Loved the article. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing with us.
Love this article!
This is so true. My two children have taught me to appreciate the little things and not to take anything for granted. We have to live in the moment and not rush through everything. Looking back on certain aspects of my life I didn’t appreciate all the little things, they really did turn into BIG things like that saying goes.
This is so true. My two children have taught me to appreciate the little things and not to take anything for granted. We have to live in the moment and not rush through everything. Looking back on certain aspects of my life I didn’t appreciate all the little things, they really did turn into BIG things like that saying goes.
Patience is everything
I’ve been following you since the Necole Bitchie days and was never moved to comment then when it was celebrity gossip, never cared to. But this, this is GOLD! XONecole is also gold. And I’m at a point in my life where I am transitioning from a Retail Manager to a Music Video Director, coincidentally right as you’re ready to become a Transitional Coach! Look at God No but seriously, keep it up! It’s greatly appreciated. Watching your journey has definitely helped me stay motivated and not feel as misunderstood and alone, so thank you ❤️
Absolutely amazing!
Thanks for sharing Necole!
Your messages seem to come a the perfect moment exactly when I need them. Thanks.
U know as a procrastinator at level 10,000 lol I loved this because I dip in between rushing and procrastinating and this just helped me be really grateful as I am looking for new things such as love after a abusive and traumatic relationship, and looking to no longer be a alienated person after 3 years. I’m really glad this was posted❤️❤️❤️❤️ I woke up sick and I’ve been really rushing again and the positivity in this just flows.
This was everything…right on time!
I can relate to this article so much right now! Thank you for sharing! Looking forward to connecting with you soon.
Necole! Yes for finding Love!! I didn’t expect that in this story, but I LOVE IT!! I know you’ve been looking and I’m so happy you are in the happiest place! I’m also happy to see you writing again. I could tell your writing style and when a story was written by you on NB, and was missing YOU writing like way back in the day. So much Love and continued Blessings to you! 🙂 I def. support everything you do & appreciate you always keeping it 100% with us!
This was for me. Wow.
What an awesome story. I love how you ran back inside the airport to see him before he got on the plane.
I used to frequent your first blog a lot. Towards the end of it I noticed the change in how there was more focus on positivity and less “gossipy”. I now frequent xonecole.com and love the site and the articles/posts. Keep doing what you’re doing and following your heart. Best wishes to you and your man. 🙂
You inspire me. 🙂
Good guess by me that you were in AZ. Congrats on living your BEST life – Today.
Focus on becoming the best you possible..everything else will fall right into place.
Thank you for this! I am so happy for you.
My favorite piece from you so far!
Beautiful Necole! The airport mentions remind me of “Love Actually” I love that movie!
I LOVED this. See I found love but I actually want the rush lifestyle of flying back & forth to events in different cities. Building my career and success. It would be nice to have my boyfriend with me since he is a phenomenal photographer. I want both love and success. Thank you for sharing this story. I am happy you have both & continue to share your story with us. Thank you! xo
Beautiful. I love this version of You! #Refreshing!
Beautifully wriiten
Great article Necole very relatable
YAY SO HAPPY YOU’RE BACK! And I’m so excited for you that you’ve found love. Looking forward to following your journey #keepinspiring
Yes. Just, yes. growth is such a beautiful thing.
Awesome article… thank you for sharing Necole! I’ve had to reevaluate, regroup and rebuild more than once… It’s growth
Awesome article… thank you for sharing Necole! I’ve had to reevaluate, regroup and rebuild more than once… It’s growth
Im just happy you found love Necole, u are such a beautiful person inside and out.
Ditto! Thank you!
Loved this. So true.
I so needed to read this.
Of course the sap in me shed a tear while reading this! Adrienne Renee
Loved this
Def what I needed. Thank you <3
Ps: okay girly, you in love and stuff now
Thank you Necole! Great read, keep up the good work! ❤️
I’m choking up at this desk chile!!! I feel like you’re my friend and I’ve been waiting on you to have this moment! So happy for you Necole!
LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!! So extremely happy for you darling! I tweeted in response to the very well written articles I have been reading from the redesigned site, and they are PHENOMENAL! I didn’t quite know what happened in your life or what changed, but I’m enjoying it. Congrats on finding the love of your life and I wish you nothing but the best!!!!
Love it! What a wonderful read I just told a friend how I’m always looking for that next moment or next opportunity and rush through my seasons in life. From this day forward no more rushing for me. Where I am is where I’m supposed to be. Thank you for the confirmation ❤
This is so encouraging and inspiring. I have found myself rushing like this to work every morning and evening. Felt like what I rushed to do in the mornings I too rush to do in reverse I’m the evenings. I get it! I too am trying to live in my moments
Thank you for this!
This was an amazing article! I love your new site and its purpose. Continue evolving and enlightening us along the way.
Loving this new lifestyle blog. The content is impeccable. Keep up the good work!
Right on time for me. Thank you for this article. I wish you nothing but the best.
Congrats. Thanks for xoNecole the positivity is needed. It’s nice to see we can have it all success love and happiness .It only get better as we get better. From your older personal posts to this post now the growth is evident. Happy for you sis. (We’re like besties in my head )
Keep growing and glowing.
You just spoke to me!! Thank you so much for this, I needed this 🙂 xo