I used to care what people thought of me. Dated back to junior high, my existence was based on what people thought of me and making sure that everyone liked me. Unfortunately I was an outcast back then as I had befriended someone who people thought was far prettier, from a good well-rounded family, who spoke well while I was plagued with a “ghetto twang” that made people mistaken me for illiterate when I went off to college.
My first year in college was probably my worst year as reality sunk in that my family was poor. Since I was from a small town, I always thought we were fine considering the people that I knew. All of my friends from back home were raised in single parent households and our mothers worked in a factory making no more than $6 or $7 dollars an hour. But that was fine, because we didn’t know of anything else. In college I was exposed to people who actually were raised in middle and upper class households with both parents. They were RICH in my eyes. Suddenly I was embarrassed about my jeans from Rainbow and my payless shoes. Suddenly I realized that I wasn’t the perfect speaker after I was teased everyday. (“It’s not Doog, It’s Dog, It’s not Hice..it’s house, it’s not belk…it’s pronounced Belt”). I cried everyday and even now I remember going through the school’s course book and picking out a major that would allow me to bypass taking a speech course because I refused to get up and speak in front of these saditty folks while they laugh at my expense. The only major I found was Computer Science so I went with that…
I spent the next few years paying close attention to my friends speech while correcting mine. As I began traveling city to city and experiencing different cultures, I picked up on the proper way to say certain things and my confidence grew just a little. It wasn’t until I decided to go to Detroit that I actually found myself. It was a place where I didn’t know a soul but it allowed me to really dig deep within myself and find out who I was as a person. I buckled down and took a speech course at a community college and during the Final speech, I spoke on three items that were important to me. The last item in my hand was a bear with a heart that said “I Love You” and I told the class that it meant alot to me because I had given it to my mother as a gift a few months before she had passed. I guess while I was talking I sort’ve squeezed the bear and it blurted out “I love you” and I lost it right there in front of the class. That voice brought back memories as when I would visit, I would hear my mother squeezing the bear all the time and that cute little voice would say “I love you” back to her and right then I realized that it was something she needed to hear….but she never heard it from me. My mother knew she was on her death bed before she even bothered to tell me but I was caught up in my own world to even notice that something could be wrong. Me giving her that bear was like a cop out…like everytime she squeezes this bear it’s like me telling her that “I love her” …but it wasn’t the same. As a matter of fact, I only can remember telling her that I loved her one time, and it was the day before she died.
I say all this to say, that moment took over me and I explained my emotions and why I was crying to the class. When I finished my speech I don’t think there was one dry eye in that class. But finally I felt Empowered. People felt me and I delivered a message that went far beyond my speech impairment and imperfect diction. Two years later I found myself on a Female Success Factor tour and I delivered my story and my pain through tears, each time leaving the stage to a standing ovation. It allowed me to unleash everything that I had built up inside of me over the course of years that I had refused to address while around family and friends.
Fast Forward to 2009 and I still deal with this “speech issue”. Although, my speech is perfectly fine, I still have hang ups and it’s made me shy away from doing any “on camera” work. I’ve turned down many opportunities this year…and of course these opportunities would have helped take my brand to the next level but Am I ready? I’ll be in LA for the awards festivities and if all goes well, will film my first webisode that we’ve been working on for at least a year. The hold up was the fact that I didn’t want to appear on camera. Anyway, I have two routes to choose this year for the awards. I can be on 1 side of the carpet, and obtain sound bites that I can get from any celeb that decides if they want to stop and chat, or I can be on the other side of the carpet, with a publicist, doing interviews and really taking my image/brand to the top. If that means I have to hire a vocal coach for the next two weeks as I prepare …so be it. But which side will I choose?
Which brings me back to not caring what people think. I’ve been advised by professionals in my field for as long as I can remember. Publicists, managers, attorneys and people who have built businesses and brands from the bottom up. Although revenue is generated from my site automatically each day through advertising, I’ve been advised that there is even more to be made from my image. Once we get over my initial hangups, there are television appearances, radio appearances, magazine spreads, hosting gigs and so on. Suddenly I’m not just reliant on my site’s content to get by but I’ve built an image and brand that will be around even when I decide that “blogging” isn’t for me anymore. I have a good idea of what I will do with my site when I’m done and trust it will still have that Bitchie Flavor but I have to focus on the marketing of myself right now and it’s crucial at this stage. It can either make or break me.
The most important thing to me though is to still have connection with my readers and to never lose that particular voice that I’ve created on my site. I write in a way that makes the average person feel as though they are hearing the story from their closest friends and that voice I don’t want to lose. Also my story and how the site came into existence is very important to me to get out there to the public and people that don’t know. I want people to read my story, be inspired and hopefully find within themselves what they are destined to be. Overcome their fears and follow their dreams.

Which brings me back to not caring what people think. I have A.D.D so excuse me for talking in circles. People will always have something to say no matter what you decide to do in life. If you decide to get married. they will talk about your husband. If you get a promotion at your job or buy a new car, they will say how you think you are too good or are getting big headed. Trust I’ve watched my family talk about each other like a dog after someone purchased a home “she think she better than everyone because she purchased that big ole house. That’s why her husband is cheating on her“. What kind of shyt is that? This is the hatred I’ve come from within my own circle of people and how I grew up so you’d think I’d be used to it by now.
Anyway, people always say what bloggers are supposed to be doing. She’s a blogger, why is she hanging with celebrities. She’s a blogger, why is her photos on her site? She’s a blogger why is she in front of the camera? She’s a blogger, why is she on the red carpet.
When I came into this, no one told me it was any rules, and even if they did I’m almost damn sure I wouldn’t have followed them. *chuckles, I’ve gotten fired from plenty of jobs for that reason* But what trips me out the most is that if most of the people talking stopped worrying about what I was or wasn’t doing and focused on what they could be doing to build their brand, then we all would be on the come up. Why should I be mad at Perez Hilton because he’s on the red carpet with stars he bashes on a regular basis, and music companies are offering him deals, and he’s being paid more than artists to host a gig, and he has his own tv shows, and his own radio shows…and we can go on and on. Why not say “hmmm he’s doing something right, let me take notes” and find out how I can capitalize on some of these opportunities.
So the overall message is, YOU ARE YOUR BRAND. I don’t care where you work or what you do for a living. Just like McDonald’s branded the golden arch and when you see the “check mark” symbol, you know that the product is made by Nike even if it doesn’t say it, you are your own brand and it’s up to YOU to brand yourself. A perfect example is Kenny Burns, he branded himself as the lifestyle specialist. Even now, there are people that say “what does he do, and why is he famous” but he’s branded himself so well, that endorsers and sponsors are knocking down his door on a daily basis, to get him to endorse their products and host their tours across the country. That’s what I call Branding!
It’s 2009! It’s time for me to Brand myself. I’m more than just a blogger. Necole Bitchie is more than just a blog.
People are going to talk…but are you going to sit and listen to meaningless chatter…or ignore it all and Do You?
I used to care what people thought of me….
Not anymore..

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