Over the past 2 years, a lot of you have come up to me and said, “I Miss your old website.”
And I used to take it as a sign that I was failing at trying something new, but then I had to realize what drove my decision to close my celebrity gossip blog in the first place. I’ve been mentioning this a lot lately but I want to reiterate it. My mom was 41 when she died. My father was 42 when he passed away. I let go of NecoleBitchie.com when I realized that I wasn’t getting any younger.
I woke up one day and asked myself, if you knew your time was nearing, would you be satisfied with how you are spending your life? Are you going to continue to stay plugged in to everyone else’s life, or are you going to start living your own? I decided I wanted to LIVE. Forget relevancy, and being known and popular and all these things that I thought were important at one point or another.
I let the site go, but I remember in the moment I pressed published on my “It’s Time To Move On” letter crying because I had sacrificed having kids, a husband, family for this brand that I was now giving up, and there was no guarantee that I would have a financially stable future. I had sacrificed everything for a career that had left me feeling quite empty and it was scary.
Even as recent as December of last year, I felt so much pressure to be a bigger success than I was before, and I had to stop myself one day and say, “are you doing things that you love and are passionate about, or are you doing things people expect of you, and trying to prove people wrong. Because if you are just doing this to prove people wrong, you aren’t walking in your purpose. You’ve forgotten your “Why”.
In 2017, I started living for me. Letting go of my website freed up my time and allowed me to do more of what I loved. I’ve tried pilates, Ariel yoga, trekked through Vietnam, Jetpacked, ATV’d through the desert, rode horses, attended a lot more birthday parties and visited a lot more friends. I only take on projects that I love and believe in. I stopped doing things just because it had a check attached. I started having the type of peace that I used to dream about. This weekend, I entered my first fitness competition (at the age of 36) and I placed 2nd in my class!!!! Backstage I was bawling crying because I couldn’t believe it. The competition was bigger than me, it was an ode to my health, being fit, looking my best, feeling my best and pouring the same amount of love into myself that I did my career.
I’ve been knocked down so many times, but that night I got up and told the
devil, “You hit like a b-tch!!!!”
I tell this story for two reasons:
1) I feel there are a lot of young girls who compare their life to mine and feel like success isn’t happening fast enough for them. I tell those girls, I slept on many couches until I was almost 27.
And 2) I want you guys to LIVE. I know you miss my old celebrity gossip site, and logging in every day for your tea, but I don’t want you to get so caught up in scrolling timelines, reading blogs, and so plugged in to what everyone else is doing that you forget to live in your own moments. You forget to live your life for you, instead of for social media or the applause.
I can honestly say I am now living the life I’ve always envisioned for myself (sans the family but it will come!!!!) and I am living with the kind of peace I’ve always dreamed about.
We are the creator of our own destiny.
Things get hard.
Things get rough.
You’ll feel like giving up.
You’ll hear people whispering and talking, but it’s your life, and you are the only one that has to live it so you have to always continue to do what’s best for you.
My friend said to me today, “If it’s not building you up, it’s breaking you down.”
Let that marinate.
Again, thank you guys for all the continued love and support. I’ve gotten my butt off of snapchat (LOL) and I don’t post as much as I used to on social but you can catch up with me on Instagram: @hellonecole and youtube/iamnecole. I’ll have some video soon hopefully 
🙂 . – Necole
P.S. Make sure you hit up xoNecole.com every now and then and enjoy the amazing reads 🙂
Love this!
Keep living in happiness! You are amazing Necole!
Inspiring and motivating!
❤
Sincerely love you. I have been following you for years now and you are very inspiring.
Yaaaass!! Go Necole!! I love this. ❤️ So happy for you!!
This is just amazing. Reading this incredible article in tears. Great person and even better writer. Shine shine shine!!
I teared up too!
Good for you Necole!!!!
Congrats.
Love your growth.
Love it!!
Necole, thank you for sharing your story! This subject has been on my mind all day and actually for the last couple years finding my purpose and I just love reading other people’s journey it’s reminds me that there is a such thing as finding your “why”, and being happy, all while being finically stable!
You are an inspiration
May God continue to bless you and to achieve all of your hearts desire.
Very inspirational! Live your life Girl! We will be here!
Thanks for sharing your story! You’re such an inspiration! Continue on your journey! Congratulations!
This is twice today your page has inspired me. Too many gossip sites not enough motivational ones. Great choice!
Sooooo proud of you!!! ❤❤❤❤
Congratulations
Congrats…..Ur an inspiration
Congrats Necole ❤️ Keep walking In your Greatness
Idk how or when I started following you -at least since those early Twitter days- but I do always appreciate you being transparent and true to yourself. Loved you then, love you now ❤️
Do you have any posts/articles about your fitness journey?
Very inspiring xoNecole.com…
Wow!! Now that is what I am talking about!! Congratulations on living your life and not watching others live theirs!! Much love and continued success!!
You. Look. Phenomenal!!!!!!! Thank you for sharing
That is awesome and inspirational
❤️
Ain’t nothing like #BlackGirlMagic !
❤
Thank you for this!! I so needed this today!!
Yaaaaaaassss Necole! Do you girl! ❤️❤️❤️ this! #Inspiring
❤❤❤
Thank u for sharing
This story is life! Thank you for sharing your journey with us!
You go girl! Thank you for sharing:-)
Congrats!
I’am so proud of you. I believe I found your blog in like 2007 and was an avid reader. I can totally relate to this entire post. I will be 32 in May. I was married for 7 years (23-30), and being by myself for the last 2 years has been a struggle. I’m single as an adult, we didnt have children (I had 2 miscarriages) and I realized that I was so busy working, and being a wife, that I forgot how to be myself. So over the past 2 years I felt myself learning more about me and “winging it.” I just recently began a job that I love and that allows me the time to travel, with great pay. Although I would love to be courting or married with a baby on the way, I recognize where I’am , and I genuinely like the person that I’m becoming. I told myself just last week that I was going to write down what I wanted to do, and where I wanted to go, and do the things that make me smile on the inside. Thank you for posting this. I told myself that I was about to be Julia Roberts, like in Eat Pray Love. lol Congrats Necole!
Congrats Necole!
You look great!
ALL.OF.THIS!! #lethimuseya
I pray I reach this level of peace. Preach!
I LOVE this!! So inspirational! And I really love the new site.
PREACH!
Sparkle Jarvis Ro Penny A good read☺️
Omg ! You look amazing!
Love you Niki Necole ❤❤
Wow. She’s really done a 180 at this point.
Life is for living!!!
You are really inspirational keep putting you 1st!
This is Why I love You !!!!!
Always motivating me to neverrrrrrrr give up..in 28 now and things are Finally seem to come my way..after all the bullshit ive been thru..
Amazing….so inspiring!! I hope to cross paths with you one day….I started following you more post your NecoleBitchie days….you are so relatable is unreal….keep up the great work
I love this Necole. Thank you for living your life.
Congratulations! I can see your physical and mental hard work!!
Thank you for sharing! I definitely needed to read this!
This speaks to me. You are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story
This is so inspiring. Though we definitely miss your site, you hit the nail on the head by saying that you had to live only for YOU.
PS: Your are fitness goals!!
BEAUTIFUL!!!
Thank you for sharing! Needed to read this!
You are truly inspiring and I couldn’t be happier for you. Thank you for sharing and inspiring other women like me to make more out of life. ❤️
Congratulations girl, I’m so proud of and for you!!! Yes, keep on pushing!!!!
I am proud of you , I followed your blog for years , but it’s your other stories that movie . It’s the sharing of other people’s lives that matter . I’m sick of celebrity news . I need to know how an average person can make their dreams come true . I recently got laid off from Macy’s & for the first time in a while I feel like things are going my way . Ain’t nothing wrong being a dream chaser ❤❤❤❤
Necole we’ve shared words (brief) but I always knew their was a connection. I lost my mom at 39. I’m 35, doing what I love in private and public, wondering when it will turn into full time. This post is genuine, as you are. Thank you.
Necole!!! Lord! You have spoken to me. I am going through this exact same thing and I needed this. Thank you so much! I have followed you in the NB days and will continue to follow you. Love you mucho! God bless!! ❤
Congratulations!
I love your new page! Very inspiring
Wonderful inspiration! You go Necole! Congrats. Courtney Michelle
Thank you for your motivation!
Love you Necole.. congratulations
Wow! What a woman! I feel like you’re speaking to me because I am right where you are. Thank you for sharing this! I know I needed it.
Thank you xoNecole.com for sharing your amazing story! Wow, so inspirational thank you! And I’m still waiting for that book! Please
So much respect for you !!
Congrats girl!! Looking fantastic. Inner peace is worth more than gold.
Amazing! I loved your old website and your new website even more! Congratulations on all your success!
Great read!
YOU ARE GOALS PERSONIFIED! So in love with your journey all because of your sacrifice, vulnerability, and humility. Thank you for always reminding your audience how to live and walk in our light! BLESSINGS!! <3
I actually love xonecole better than necolebitche. Xonecole is relatable and real to my life. From relationships to finances to inspiration. The content on xonecole is always bomb and things I can apply to my life. I’ve traveled more because of your blog. I have trips planned to Miami, Punta Cana, and Thailand this year because your blog made me realize there is more to life. So keep up the amazing work because I appreciate xonecole. ❤️
Thank you so much for the support!! I love hearing that the site has helped so many people do things they’ve always wanted to do but needed the push. It’s what keeps me going. Much love
I agree!!! Me too!
You are inspiration!
I’m so in awe of this testimony, I had no idea this was her frame of mind or why she quit her blog.. Tomiko Harvey Belinda Brown Willis Kisha Wiley
Wow! Simply wow!!! Bravo!!!!!!!
I didn’t recognize that was her until after I read the article lol I had to really look
Very inspiring! Love it! Thanks for your story! Much appreciated! Continue on your journey and success!
Congratulations !!!
Awwwww thanks for sharing this made my day ❤
Wow … beautiful. You made he right decision . Much success to you !
Thanks you! I am inspired
Congrats!!
Isn’t she amazing?!! She’s inspiring! She helps me unclog my mind of all the fake stuff! Reminds me of what’s real and what We should be aiming for!! … this is the same person who took the time to reply to my snap!! She’s all #goals!
I agree!!! I wish there was more people like her!!
I love that, always remember your why. I discovered you when i ran across Xonecole and i remember thinking wow these ladies are doing something amazing. keep going
i LOOOVE the new path you’ve carved out for your life. I enjoyed NB (sometimes) But I’m much more pleased with the new you. I’m 45, single, no kids and SOOOO F’ING WHAT??? that married and kids life aint 4 err’body, so embrace it. What is meant to be, will be. Clicking on now feeds my soul instead of keeping me caught up in tea, who needs it? I’d like to encourage u to continue proudly and bolding walking into your new light, for it is GLORIOUS my sister! You shine up good!
Thank you so much for this!
So proud of you!!!
This is awesome. I love seeing people doing whatever it is that makes their hearts happy. It’s easy to get comfortable in life and allow fear of the unknown to hold us back, but we must walk by faith and remember that greatness exists outside of our comfort zones.
I did enjoy reading especially since I followed her blog at one point
Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for being afraid and doing it anyway. Thank you for reminding us all what truly LIVING our own life looks like. Thank you for making the decision to overcome insurmountable odds and moving forward with life anyway. I’m quite certain it was not easy to walk away from what others deemed a success to pursue what would give you a clear concious and pure heart. Truth be told, celebrity gossip sites come a dime a dozen. Quality is rare. At times, we are so accustomed to being fed junk that it takes us awhile to appreciate quality. Keep pushing forward with xonecole. It will payoff.
Your journey is meant for YOU. Others may never understand. It’s okay because it’s not meant for them. Congratulations on your courage and following your dreams.
Please know that I love your site and I’m a guy! A gay guy but a guy. You have inspired me with your story since day one and I keep pushing because of you and how honest you are! Keep doing your thing and know that Xonecole is the shit! You my best girlfriend in my head
U are so incredible amazing and inspirational ❤️
Thank you for sharing.
love you!
Wow! So inspiring! Love your friends’ quote. “If it’s not building you up, it’s breaking you down.”
Great story, when are you going to write a book?
Congratulations Necole!! You’re so bomb and I’m so happy for you!
You always an inspiration#love u loads#congrats
This is awesome ! Congrats !
Congratulations I really really love your new post I didn’t even follow you much when you were doing Nicole bitchy I kind a miss you on snap chat though
i really miss Necole Bitchie and all the shenanigans on that website. It was my number one fav blog!.. The new direction you’ve taken is absolutely tremendous. I admire the new you and your overall growth. Your speech at the WEEN Awards sealed it all for me.
“And yes if it ain’t building you up it’s breaking you down”
WOW! This is deep! Thanks hun!
Thank you Necole. I been following you since your blog and always stayed tuned Into what you do. I appreciate your truth. It’s a wonderful experience and journey. I’m 33 back to school because now I believe I can be amazing it’s never too late Queens! You’re beautiful and wonderful keep that crown ❤️✊
This is why I love her!!!! So transparent with her experiences of life.
Congratulations to you my Sista and you awesome
Love it! Thank you Nicole
Thanks for sharing Necole. Yes, the devil hits like a little btch get back up and keep fighting for your dreams!
You are a breath of fresh air! So inspiring!
I love this!!! Dubai 2017!! cheers to LIVING!!!! <3
I connect to your story so much! My mom recently passed away and my dad passed 7 years ago. Everyday I miss being able to hear them say “Im proud of you.” I admire your strength, vulnerability and dedication. Thank you for sharing your story.
No need to worry…Trust God and just live!!!!!
This is amazing ❤️❤️
Awww that’s bae! ❤️
I’ve been through the same experiences and can relate
#Feelinginspired
Congratulations!!! You deserve it…I have been with you since NB but I love you more NOW! I love your growth and I love you living your life!!!
That’s right!!! Pour into your own life and stop watching others live theirs and that is exactly what you have helped to encourage me to do as I now have a nonprofit!!! Very happy, proud, inspired by you. I have been with you since the beginning of NB and Im still down to ride. You are providing a platform that encourages positivity, empowerment, community, sisterhood, health, beauty. It takes courage to step away from your comfort zone into the unknown! You are on the other side. There wont be Testimonies without tests! You are doing an awesome job in being transparent about your journey and helping other women along the way!
Absolutely love this! Inspiring! Love these better than your gossip site! It’s so true that we get caught up on social media and likes, we just need to live.
Congratulations on winning 2nd place! Go Girl!!
Omg !! I didn’t know you’re also a competitor. That is my ultimate goal ! You are so very inspiring!!
And I LOVE this website so so much ! I learn so many things from you
Yessssss
I just can’t get past this AMAZING body! But seriously, I’m SO very proud of you Queen! I’m finally, at 42, realizing MY why. I love knowing now because I really didn’t realize I had a why. I just thought being a mom and wife was it until I separated from him and eventually divorced. You’re SUCH an inspiration. I’m glad I follow you! You wear your crown well!!!❤
I f-cking love you.
LOVE it and congrats to you!!! It’s never too late!!
Do you !!!!!
Omg I thought about competing in a fitness show as well at tender age of 40!! Way to go
Congratulations!!
The way I’ve seen you grown in a of full of unrealistic things and fiction especially in the industry is amazing! You show morales and principals still exist and self love is the best love..I wish you nothing but the best and keep doing the unthinkable
I love the website it always has something to empower you, just like this speech.
Congratulations!!
Congratulations!!!!! You look amazing!
My Mother died at age 43 from the flesh eating virus. I was 26. Life is short. Live your life. Thanks for the message. I can relate. Congrats also! You look great.
you are LYFE !!!!
Congrats!!! And actually love your new site!!
Good for you!!!
Brings Tears to My Eyes. I miss your Blogs and Articles but it’s Good to See you are Finally Living in your Purpose with Happiness
You’re an inspiration, woman!!!!
Yes congrats
Necole this was an awesome read! Kudos to you for owning your truth and being a rockstar!!!!!!!-Queen Femly
This is lovely congrats!
I needed to read this, thanks for sharing ma’am
I love your evolution! Salute!
I have to agree, I love the new site and the new vision. We all need to grow and adapt and expand, but we let things limit us. I am happy to see you vibrant and happy, often women don’t say that enough and it’s important. You may have done more for others than you realize as a result, i know many of your topics and posts definitely helped me thru my divorce and opened my eyes to know there is more to live than chasing a paycheck. So thank you Necole for sharing your awakening, your growth, your positivity and CONGRATS on 2nd place, looking just as fabulous and happy as you wanna be
Love this and sending so much respect your way
I love you, Necole! You’re an inspiration foreal.
Love your work keep it up
Very well said and extremely TRUE
Go girl!
Love!! So proud of you, Necole!! ❤
I cried reading this because I constantly battle with myself on following my dream or being comfortable in my stable yet unsatisfying job. At 25 I often feel like I reached my peak early in life and struggle with figuring out what to do next. Your post gives me hope to LIVE and to do what makes me happy. THANK YOU!!
As a black man who follows your site and was a regular to NB, I knew eventually that there would come a time where you were going to start shedding old skin and embracing/accepting the new of yourself. Those who are in touch with that reality will continue to prosper in their endeavors as well as their responsibility as a mature adult. I love the growth and am very happy to say that gender doesn’t matter when it comes to being inspired by someone. Your journey is yours, and there can only be one Necole to.
Necole, there’s no amount of congratulations I can say for you as you have embarked on this new journey. I don’t fit the demographic that your site caters to but your story still touches lives like mine. You are a great example of growing into being the best version of oneself. Much more success to you.
I LOVE YOU! Thanks for showing us we can be and do what our hearts desires and most importantly we can change direction. @xoNecole.com – You look stupendously gorgeous! Congratulations mama ❤- to be honest I read the new site A LOT more than the previous – it inspires me to keep pushing and helps keep my faith intact when all else fails. When I read a story on the site it reminds me it’s OK!!
Amen to all of this! Soar in your own light, time, space and relevance
Thank you dear this was an inspirational read
Reading your story is so inspiring. I’m so happy for you Necole! I’m on somewhat of a journey to self discovery myself. Continued success on living your best life!
Thanks so very much for this. Right on time because I’ve been having a LOT of the same kinds of thoughts lately.
Beautiful inside and out. Keep living life
I don’t know you but I love the message you shared and that it also change the perspective so many of us seem to live by. I’m turning 35 this year and currently feeling overwhelmed with the thoughts of not having family and kids etc…just as you shared *got me emotional. Positive change is always a plus especially when you are able to inspire so many lives : )
Love the honesty & vulnerability in your latest post.I think this in a nutshell what an authentic life should be about..more power to you keep on living and staying healthy x
That’s beautifully inspirational Necole, thank you!
I said it on your instagram, but GO NECOLE! I’m so happy for you and all your successes. I remember you talked about your journey to turning your life around as far as your fitness, physical journey, and how you struggled with your body image before. You said you’d be competing in a fitness competition, you set your sights on it, focused, put in the hard work, and LOOK AT YOU! You have truly been an inspiration for me, and I see so much of myself in you. I know your brand is primarily for women, but I am so touched by all your articles on your site, your personal vlogs on your YouTube channel, and just everything you stand for. I know you say your transition hasn’t been perfect from your old self and brand, to your new self and brand, but I was and am thoroughly impressed by how exceptionally you have been at executing such a dramatic change. You stuck to it, are consistent with who you are and want to be, and produce so many different levels of quality content. You are the perfect example of, “You can always press pause on your life, and start over.” And as Ciara says, “Losing is only losing…. if you give up.” I know that if you an amazingly, incredible individual like you exist, there is a chance for a person like me to be successful as well. Thanks Necole for being YOU. xoNecole.com I think I speak for many when I say, “We LOVE YOU!”
This message was incredibly sweet. Can I bottle it up and save it. Got me emotional over here. Thank you so much for such encouraging words!
I’m definitely fighting back tears after reading this.. your story resonates with me deeply. I can relate on so many levels! I’m truly happy you’re following your bliss!
Girllll you know I love you – GO GIRLLLLL!!
Thank you so much for this Necole! I just love you and your new blog/site. I’m glad you let the celeb gossip go because it’s ridiculous how people are so caught up in everyone else’s lives and not their own. I will be 35 this year and I know I haven’t lived and I am making a vow to start and not worry about what others think, learning to say no to things that I don’t want to do and do not serve a purpose. I’ve had to leave some people behind recently and I’m cool with that cause it’s what best for me. Congrats on placing second in the competition and keep living for you!
Thanks Necole.
I really just wanna live. I needed this today.
Necole!
Your story is so inspiring! This hit my inbox at the perfect moment. Keep doing you lady! xoxo
Awesome! This is what I needed to hear! Thank you, Necole…Thank YOU!
Hi Necole, I have never even met you but I feel as though we are old friends. I was with your blog from the very beginning when it was only a few then it grew to 10 regulars. We had a internet bond in that group..lol.. I am so very proud of you sista-friend! You look fabulous and you wear your courage boldly! Keep pushing yourself! You are already great so every thing else is self discovery! I love it. Keep encouraging!
BRAVO to you necole you may think you are an inspiration to the 30 year old and early 20’s but let me tell you I’m old enough to be your —— well never mind that I’m transitioning into retirement this year and felt so a loser because
I didn’t hit someone else clock and was free from corporate america now i got to learn to reevaluate myself to enjoy my passion I applaud you and I was a reading of your blog everyday I miss the blog but i enjoy reading your testimony story you are in a good place now and don’t look back there’s a story in the bible where God told lot’s wife not to look back she did and was punished we should not look back I do social media to inspire nothing to really tell don’t get paid but i hope if someone see one post that i post that may help them it helps me I know sometime I read something and it change my mind not to JUMP off the cliff keep doing great things much love 🙂
Great message!
Your bravery to live your best life continues to inspire me. Keep up the good work and congratulations on your fitness accomplishments!!
Just read the enewsletter and as always, Necole, thank you for being real and for being an inspiration. Thank you!
First I would like to say that you look absolutely AMAZING!!!!! I was so shocked when I saw the picture of you. I immediately said, “oh that’s not her..” and scrolled pass. Imagine my surprise when I found out it was!!! After reading further, I realized that I too put you in that box of celebrity gossip. I miss it everyday!!! You are so right!!! Sitting by and watching others have seemingly amazing lives and yours is steadily going by is DEPRESSING! It is actually the reason I try to stay away from social media. I do not want to stand bye any longer. I am 29 now and I am JUST starting a job I really love and I am determined to continue to have a successful and happy life. I am thankful everyday for your motivational emails. I look forward to your journey. In a huge way I feel as though I am experiencing it with you.
So needed this message right now! Live In Your Purpose…..
Thank you for the email! And congrats on everything, you’re such an inspiration. I hope and pray that by this time next year I’ll be living out my dreams as well. Live it up, Necole!
GO GIRL
You are such an inspiration!! I left a Federal Government job (with bangin’ pay) two months ago to pursue my passion as a Dance Fitness Instructor, and I haven’t looked back!!! It’s so fulfilling to inspire and assist people in the transformation of their minds and bodies! I wouldn’t have it any other way… Your passion will lead you to your purpose!! Thank you for being such a beautiful example of true peace!!!
Very well said … thank you for being true and living your truth .
I enjoy XONecole way better. I read your necolebitchie blog sometimes but I don’t care for blogs talking about other people’s business. I love everything that you share on here. Keep up the awesome work.
This is very real. It’s so easy to become obsessed with other people are doing
Yay you! Celebrate!
I’m proud of you. I waa an early fan of NB and I supported your shutdown. Growth requires leaving things behind sometimes. Keep rising!