The other day I was browsing through old Facebook photos when I came across this one.
What most people probably see when they look at this collage of images is a girl just having a little photo booth fun after Fashion Week. But what I saw immediately when I looked at the image is a huge cyst on my right wrist.
Back in 2010, a quarter-sized ganglion cyst appeared on my wrist out of nowhere. It’s unclear if the way I tilted my hands while typing on a computer could have caused it, or if it appeared due to stress, but it was the source of my self-consciousness for a long time.
Three years to be exact.
Everywhere I went, people would ask what happened to my wrist, followed by suggestions on how I could get it removed. The problem was, since I was right-handed and had to use that hand primarily, it would have been a huge inconvenience for me to get surgery. Not to mention, my celebrity gossip blog was poppin’ back then, and surgery would have taken me out of the game at least a good 6–12 weeks easy while I healed.
Surgery was not an option.
Unfortunately, the more I stressed over the cyst, focused on it and acknowledged it’s existence, it just got bigger and bigger. I was like, ‘Holy crap, I’m going to have to wear a glove over this thing at some point!’
One day, I went to a nail shop, and the nail tech (an older asian man) asked me about the cyst while rubbing his hand gently across my wrist.
“How long have you had it?”
“Almost three years!” **waits for him to suggest a surgery**
“If you don’t pay attention to it, it will go away!”
“What????”
“If you don’t acknowledge it, it will disappear”
Now if that didn’t sound like a bunch of bullcrap! But I quietly nodded my head and went on with my nail appointment.
Afterward, I encountered a few more nights of me obsessing over my wrist and wishing the cyst would just go away, until I eventually I forgot about it. I started focusing on other, more important things in life, and you know what happened….
It disappeared!!!
Three months later, I looked down and noticed my wrist was back to normal. There wasn’t a trace or any indication that the cyst was ever there. I was astonished!
That day I realized the power of the subconscious mind and it was so symbolic to me. I realized, the things we tend to focus the most on is what we attract more of in our lives. What we believe, will eventually become our reality.
For example, right now you may be going through a situation where you want to achieve a goal, or a huge dream, but there is one thing that seems to be standing in the way of that dream. It could be anything — a lack of support –lack of funding and resources — fear of failure. Every day that you think about that obstacle, the distance between where you are starting, and where you want to be becomes greater and you will begin to think that you will fail. Eventually you will psych yourself out, and your dream will become deferred.
And it will just keep getting bigger. Just like my annoying cyst.
I was inspired to write this today because I had to do some extreme soul-searching over the last few weeks. Just recently, I woke up and said, “Why am happy in every aspect of my life, except my career? I’ve made some huge changes in my life, gone through a huge transition, but yet, I stand here almost a year later feeling the same exact way I felt last July when I knew it was time to bow out.”
And I noticed, the way I felt had a lot to do with me giving the obstacle (lack of funding and resources) too much power. It was killing my joy and creating a very miserable atmosphere for me.
Since then, I made some discoveries about myself, and recurring patterns that blew me away. And now, I have no choice but to make very necessary changes in my life and in my career in order to get back to happy.
I wanted to invite you to live in this moment with me, as I press the ‘reset’ button yet again. I hope through me sharing my story and small tidbits along the way, that it helps someone who is dealing with some of the same transitional struggles. Because above everything else:
You deserve to be happy.
We all do!
It’s the belief that you’ll have a happy ending that will get you there. So keep going!
i always learn so much from you…thank you
Thank you, Necole. In this point in my life (Being terminated from my job with no income, and a rack of bills) I really needed this. Just yesterday I was obsessing about how broke I was, and how I’m going to manage. Then I had an epiphany: Don’t panic. Just do not panic and stress over it because — like your cysts — the problem will only get “Bigger” eventually taking your joy away. And all I want to be is happy. So, thank you again for your reassurance. obstacles have no power over me!
This was a beautiful story to share Necole! Thank you for always being a strong, beautiful woman who has clearly persevered through obstacles in life. You are a great model and a huge inspiration to young women like me. We don’t know each other but I’m super glad that I came across a beautiful individual such as yourself in this industry. Reading your blog kept me entertained but still very humane. Lord knows we need all the positivity we can get these days in the midst of the social media obsession. I’ve constantly been in a state of wanting more for my life especially when you’ve followed the “good girl” route all your life and see all the “bad girls” lol LIVE.Whether it be in a bomb apartment, bomb bf, bomb car, you constantly worry about when it’ll be your turn but with this piece of advice along with my mom’s advice daily (unsolicited at times, LOL) I’ll remain hopeful and not let my obstacles take power over me. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing and being candid!
Thank you for sharing. This was right on time for me as I am at a crossroads in my life right now. I am tired of working for others and I am working on starting my own business. I will not let obstacles have power over me. I will change my thinking. Be blessed.
Thank you Necole for this push in the right direction. It’s time for me to hit the reset button as well. I’ve been contemplating or rather obsessing going back to school for a career that I really love but have been bound by fear and the fact that I put everyone first but myself. It’s time for me to be proud of Me! I’m ignoring this “cyst of fear” so I can fulfill the purpose of the person I know in my heart.
I can not say thank you enough. I have followed you since the Necole Bitchie days and I honestly can admit I often just scroll past or delete the emails I get from you, I didn’t even remember signing up for them…but for some reason today I actually read this one. Something just said stop everything and read this…and I thank God that I did. This was right on time and gave me hope for tomorrow. I have been so consumed with being a single mother to a special needs child, struggling to raise my son to be a man, keep a roof over our heads, provide him with a better life than I had, and the list goes on. I have been dying to find him a “father” figure and someone to help around the house and spend the rest of my life with, that its all I can think of. I have so much more I could focus on and find happiness in that as of this moment, I am going to stop putting attention into those other things. THANK YOU NECOLE! GOD SENT YOU TODAY!! I pray for us both and this incredible journey we are on **Hits the reset button**
Thank you Necole for sharing! I’ve found myself “staying in a funk” to avoid pushing myself to fight. I made a leap of faith last year, but for whatever reason I felt like my faith ended there. I forgot that having faith is a continuous cycle and you can’t seek benefits you don’t apply for!
I am now in a place where I know I have to take back my authority. I’ve been following your blog since I was about 20 years old and I am now 25. Thank you for being transparent and open to growth along the way, it has kept me accountable for my actions as well.
-Shay
Wow! I am so glad I clicked on my email and read your blog post. I needed this Today, in this moment. I have a few obstacles both big and small that has my stress level on high. I would like to share… 1. When I hit thirty, my face broke out badly and now I have acne scars, and 2 years later I’m on a treatment to reduce breakouts and fade the scars. But everyday I look in the mirror and stress about a new breakout and wishing I was comfortable going to work sans makeup. Monday I decided not to worry about it because my stress was increasing my breakouts..lol. Lip and behold today, the breakouts are no longer noticeable and the dark scars a sorta fading.
2. The biggest obstacle is preparing the the CPA (Certified Public Accountant) exam. I have been stressing on the vast materials, the low pass rates by other candidates, the lack of time.. Etc. I have focus so much on those threats than actually retaining the information that my practice reviews are in the 60s.
But reading this blog, I will not focus on the obstacles but other things like studying. Thank you Necole for bringing to light a way to get over obstacles. Because if you don’t focus on that obstacle it’s not really an obstacle.
A needed word, in the needed hour. Today has truly been a day of “resets” by choosing to receive God’s joy in my life. You appear to be based out of Scottzdale, AZ currently… I dream to at least visit there… You still “Waiting to Exhale”? Did you move there for the movie or out of a business necessity? I only inquire because the bug didn’t get on me to even consider Arizona as a place of residence until after I started “hoping” in the promises of God and then I started to believe that Red Rocks, Butte’s and Cacti were even a possibility.
Hi Necole. I just discovered your blog yesterday afternoon (followed NecoleBitchie) and so glad I signed up for the emails. This email falls right in line with the chapter of the book, The Untethered Soul, that I listened to this morning. The author talks about not letting circumstances determine whether I am happy or not. Circumstances will occur outside of my control but I have to determine beforehand that I will maintain my happiness through it all. As you said, hitting the reset button is necessary. Thanks for sharing your journey.
Thank-you for this….. I have been to focused on other things but now it’s my time and turn for me to focus on being happy. Happy in love, career, and other aspects in my life. Something are changing but I can’t let the fear of change affect me or stop me from doing some of the things I want to do. Learning to step out on FAITH and to TRUST in it more.
Hi Necole! Thank you for sharing this story. I have been trying to look for new job for sometime now and haven’t had any luck. Recently two jobs were suggested to me but after reading the qualifications, I immediately said I can’t do the job. I woke up this morning think about those two jobs and why I didn’t even try to apply. I came to realize that I have a fear of change and going out of my comfort zone. I need to start thinking positive because I may be missing out on the job of my dreams.
I thank you for your truth and honesty. I’m a RN and understand how we take care of so many things and other before we care for ourself. With that in mind do the breast check ups regularly, pap, and annual physical. Most of all stay inspired.
On Monday I had a brief moment in which I entertained a negative thought about my new start up company. I was looking at another company, one that I really admire, and I started comparing their chapter 10 to my chapter 1. So I became frustrated because like you, lack of funding and access to the resources I need, are what’s currently standing in the way of things that I’m ready to do for my company. BUT GOD! God has a way of revealing things to let me know that He has my back and to stop letting negative thoughts fester with His plans for me because it doesn’t do anything but lead to stress…It’s counterproductive. Since then, I have been seeing messages that have been right on time and this post from you is another “right on time” message. I speak and declare that my company will grow into more than I can even imagine but I must stay diligent and positive. I also speak and declare that you, and every person reading or commenting on this post, will stay focused, positive, and that everything you wish to accomplish will manifest. You never know when the breakthrough is coming. #Reset #ResetYourMind #PositiveAffirmations Thank you for sharing!
Your honest posts are both a surprise and an inspiration. The surprise comes from the realization that you deal with the very same insecurities that I do. My goal is to start a mentoring program, and I envision it to be a huge feat and a phenomenal success. That scares me. I continue to draw inspiration from a list that I keep of women who embody the spirit that I’d like to capture in the mentoring program, and you are at the top of that list. My hope is that you continue onward in your admirable endeavors. Perhaps someday you’ll be speaking to girls in my program!
Thank you, for writing this piece because there are so many things going on internally with me. I think I do a great job at hiding it, but this particular posting motivates me to want and do more. As of lately in the career department, I’m stumped on where is it I want to go and be. I know some of the things I want, but it’s like how am I going to get there. You are right what we tell and allow ourselves to believe will mirror our reality. Thank you for reminding me to believe and acknowledge the words and thoughts I set forth into the universe.
Thank you for writing this with such transparency. I have been experiencing the same assortment of emotions. Despite having a dynamic product/service my tech startup company with my business partner is struggling right now because of personal life changes and the expected differences of opinion people commonly have…I feel pulled to want to fix things, while at the same time I want to zone out and continue working on the stuff I love and let the other things right themselves. …I dont know how everything will ultimately unfold but I’m quite sure however way it does I will survive and thrive.