The other day I was browsing through old Facebook photos when I came across this one.

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What most people probably see when they look at this collage of images is a girl just having a little photo booth fun after Fashion Week. But what I saw immediately when I looked at the image is a huge cyst on my right wrist.

Back in 2010, a quarter-sized ganglion cyst appeared on my wrist out of nowhere. It’s unclear if the way I tilted my hands while typing on a computer could have caused it, or if it appeared due to stress, but it was the source of my self-consciousness for a long time.

Three years to be exact.

Everywhere I went, people would ask what happened to my wrist, followed by suggestions on how I could get it removed. The problem was, since I was right-handed and had to use that hand primarily, it would have been a huge inconvenience for me to get surgery. Not to mention, my celebrity gossip blog was poppin’ back then, and surgery would have taken me out of the game at least a good 6–12 weeks easy while I healed.

Surgery was not an option.

Unfortunately, the more I stressed over the cyst, focused on it and acknowledged it’s existence, it just got bigger and bigger. I was like, ‘Holy crap, I’m going to have to wear a glove over this thing at some point!’

One day, I went to a nail shop, and the nail tech (an older asian man) asked me about the cyst while rubbing his hand gently across my wrist.

“How long have you had it?”

“Almost three years!” **waits for him to suggest a surgery**

“If you don’t pay attention to it, it will go away!”

“What????”

“If you don’t acknowledge it, it will disappear”

Now if that didn’t sound like a bunch of bullcrap! But I quietly nodded my head and went on with my nail appointment.

Afterward, I encountered a few more nights of me obsessing over my wrist and wishing the cyst would just go away, until I eventually I forgot about it. I started focusing on other, more important things in life, and you know what happened….

It disappeared!!!

Three months later, I looked down and noticed my wrist was back to normal. There wasn’t a trace or any indication that the cyst was ever there. I was astonished!

That day I realized the power of the subconscious mind and it was so symbolic to me. I realized, the things we tend to focus the most on is what we attract more of in our lives. What we believe, will eventually become our reality.

For example, right now you may be going through a situation where you want to achieve a goal, or a huge dream, but there is one thing that seems to be standing in the way of that dream. It could be anything — a lack of support –lack of funding and resources — fear of failure. Every day that you think about that obstacle, the distance between where you are starting, and where you want to be becomes greater and you will begin to think that you will fail. Eventually you will psych yourself out, and your dream will become deferred.

And it will just keep getting bigger. Just like my annoying cyst.

I was inspired to write this today because I had to do some extreme soul-searching over the last few weeks. Just recently, I woke up and said, “Why am happy in every aspect of my life, except my career? I’ve made some huge changes in my life, gone through a huge transition, but yet, I stand here almost a year later feeling the same exact way I felt last July when I knew it was time to bow out.”

And I noticed, the way I felt had a lot to do with me giving the obstacle (lack of funding and resources) too much power. It was killing my joy and creating a very miserable atmosphere for me.

Since then, I made some discoveries about myself, and recurring patterns that blew me away. And now, I have no choice but to make very necessary changes in my life and in my career in order to get back to happy.

I wanted to invite you to live in this moment with me, as I press the ‘reset’ button yet again. I hope through me sharing my story and small tidbits along the way, that it helps someone who is dealing with some of the same transitional struggles. Because above everything else:

You deserve to be happy.

We all do!

It’s the belief that you’ll have a happy ending that will get you there. So keep going!