So I just hung up with this guy I met a few weeks ago and my first instinct is telling me “Just delete the number girl”. I met this guy at a gas pump on election night and as strange as it seems, my first thought was “well K.D Aubert met her husband at the gas pump”…so I tried to be open minded. Not that I had plans to marry this guy or anything…
But over the next few weeks I was bombarded with “I would like to see you again” messages. And that’s fine and dandy, but instead of asking me out on a date the guy was trying to lure me to his place. Yes, I understand that some men have that one free date rule, meaning he won’t spend cash until he realizes the girl is worth it, but hell, I would have went dutch in exchange for my sanity. The other night I said to him “I don’t know what type of women you are used to dating but I met you at a gas station. And you gave me a name that wasn’t your government..what makes you think I’m going to come to your house at 11pm at night”? why bother..
I remember I used to drive in the fast lane for years. Especially when I was in college. I remember meeting this guy at a parade and during our first date, we were speeding down 95 south to Virginia (five hours from where I lived) in a big body benz with bullet proof windows. We ended up on a high speed chase from the cops later that night. When I got back I changed my number but this guy showed up at my school looking for me and called all of my friends phones to see if they had seen me.
As if I didn’t learn my lesson, Years later, my first outing with another guy was a trip up 95 North to Brooklyn New York from DC. I again, made it home safe but Are you surprised that I didn’t know these guys last names nor their friends name and where they lived? I have stories I could write a book about….but that was the past.
All of that came to a halt, the day a cousin of mine was murdered. It was two weeks after my mom’s funeral and there I was sitting in the same church looking at my cousin’s lifeless body. She was found dead on her apartment floor and the person beat her to the point where she was unrecognizable. Years later a guy who had a crush on her was charged with her murder.
From that point I started dealing with Paranoia. Every guy I met, had to be googleable (if that’s a word) and I had to know his friends and the company he kept. Where he worked, what he does, and a few dates to analyze his character. Everytime I went on a date, i’d text the guy’s info to all of my friends (name, phone, myspace page address and anything else i had on him…just in case). It didn’t help that a few months back my best friend called me crying and told me her world had been flipped upside down. Apparently, The cops called her while she was at work and told her to come home. When she did, they notified her that they had to dig up her backyard. Sure enough they found what they were looking for, the body of a girl that was murdered by her boyfriend a few years back. He buried her under his mom’s patio and she sold the house to my best friend… smh…
I say all this to say, we really need to be careful of who we date, who we let into our homes and who we let into our lives. All it takes for me is one date to see the possible warning signs. Everytime you turn on the 6 o’clock news you find out how real it is out here. Are people that crazy for love?
Hi, I'm Necole!
“I have stories I could write a book about….” Seriously Necole, that wouldn’t be a bad idea….try it, you never who’s life you could touch…..god knows you’ve touched mines….
That is why I am slow to date anybody, my best friend is always telling me I need to lower my standards and just date some guy for fun, but fun can lead to trouble. People are crazy these days and I am completely with you on the whole everybody has to know the guys info before I go. One time me anda group of friends went off with this guy we didn’t know, and I was the paranoid sensible one who left a note behind with his name, number and what his car looked like, as well as what all of us were wearing when we left. I rather be called paranoid then have my mom crying cause her baby girl is missing. I would definitely read your book, im sure at least one girl can learn from your mistakes and successes. And fuck Superhead, for someone who is supposedly out to help girls learn from her mistakes and empower others she sure is trying to piss on your parade. There is room out there for pointless hoes and there is room for women trying to make a difference, she needs to worry about the up and coming sperm guzzlers trying to steal her spot, and leave you alone.
at one point i wanted to work with karrine as her assistant but realized that could go up or down in my favor and backed down…pooey. i think life in the fast lane is interesting. for those who make it out you have a story to tell. and to those who don’t, they’re legacies will live on through the fast lane. like kanYe recommends…i’m driving realllll slow around these parts…whatever is in store for me is in store for me! applause to those who made it because, as karrine says, there is a mission to rescue those who are lost. i don’t think the fast life is a terrible thing, you just have to be strong. and i think the testimonies of those who made it signifies “survival of the fittest.”
blessings
you are right, i lived he fast lane in the 90’s living in landover, md. but there is a point that you have to change and lookout for yourself and be careful. living in that fastlane got me sexually assaulted by a friend. but to eachis own, live your life. BUT BE CAREFUL!
Mela3 I totally agree with the comment you made saying “There is room out there for pointless hoes and there is room for women trying to make a difference”….that is so true.
Mela–I agree, girl! 2 years ago I found myself in this crazy situation with this brotha who I met on a bus(Nothing wrong with a bus, but ya know that is where very weird random azz people go)…anyways…i lowered my standards to date him and he turned out to be the jerk of all jerks. He turned my life around for the worst and I will never forget it.
Boy.
I could tell you some stories myself.
The Memorial weekend I ended u hanging out with Raekown and other members of the Wu.
The hook up on the first date that eventually led to my daughter being born.
The many nights on South beach with friends where all i had was cab fair to get home and no other money.
Sigh.
Those were the days.
The Fast Lane can be fun, it’s just many people don’t know when yo exit.
Giiiiiiirl!!! You know how we do….lol I remember talkin’ to this one dude a while back that wanted to take me out “right away”, but I wanted to talk to him on the phone first to see what he was about so I don’t waste my time if he wasn’t about sh*t. This mofo got mad. I’m like…”Dude! Don’t you wanna talk to me first to see if we’re at least compatible so you don’t waste our time if we’re not?” What’s wrong with talkin’ on the phone first? More people should do that. Saves time and money, I think 😮 That was a red flag, cuz he was too pushy about that sh*t. BOY BYE!!!
Was your friend from Oakland??The one whos yard the police had to digg up??That story sounds so familiar.When i was little the police dugg up a body of a young girl from my next doors neighbors house.I cant remember what they said had happened to her but obviously…It was nothing nice.Damn…People are skitzo!!!!
I hear you. I often thank the Lord for having mercy on my fearless nature during the time I resided in NJ. I had 3 rides from NYC to NJ after a night out and more than a few in NJ to home all by myself. Clearly, I was on some other thought process. My roommate talked with me one day and said, you’re from the “D”, I expect you to know better. “I just won’t know what to tell your folks”. It was a rap after that.
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