The other night, I finally watched a portion of Beyonce’s ‘4’ mini documentary that aired on MTV, BET and a few other stations simultaneously. What stood out to me is that she mentioned her mother had to almost beg her to take time off. Seeing that she was overworked, her mom told her, “You really need to live your life and open your eyes and you don’t want to wake up with no memories and never really [have] been able to see the world“.
At times, we get so caught up in trying to out-do ourselves and so caught up in our list of what we want to accomplish by a certain age that we forget to live and actually enjoy what we’ve worked so hard for. From 2008 – 2010, I had this growing site that I worked on almost 24/7. I lived, ate and breathed the website because I had this vision of growing it into a huge empire, meanwhile, I was miserable. I didn’t have a life. That all changed in February of 2010 when a friend of mine introduced me to Gabrielle Union during Superbowl in Miami. I remember her saying to me, “You’re a blogger? Why? You’re too cute to be a blogger (whatever that means). You should live”.
I remember going back home that night and turning on my computer to set up blogs for the next day and being disgusted. There I was about to report on what celebs were doing that day, people that were actually living their lives, but I wasn’t devoting enough time to live my own. Since then, I’ve found a happy balance between celeb blogging and living life to the absolute fullest. I travel several times a month and take at least one day out of each week away from work to do fun things with friends and experience things I’ve never done before.
Are you so caught up in work that you haven’t found time to ‘live’. Here are a list of things that I find helpful to unwind.
Girls Night
Planning a girl’s night every few weeks can be so refreshing. Take at least four hours on a weekend night, fix drinks and food, put on your favorite movies and laugh and have a good time together. Trust me, this will start being the highlight of your week.
Spa Day
Take at least an hour or two every week or two and visit the spa for a facial or massage. If money is tight, I normally will make a mask out of honey and eggs or Burt’s pore-refining mask from Whole Foods. Massages are very important as they increase your blood circulation, improve your tissue quality, heal injuries and overall enhance your quality of life. I use to get massages maybe once every 6 months but I’ve drastically increased them to once a week or every other week. Every time I go, I have so much tension built up in my upper back and shoulders but I leave their feeling like a whole new person. (Talking your boyfriend into giving you a good massage will work as well 🙂 )
The Steam Room
Visiting a steam room or making your own steam (turn the shower on HOT and close the door until the room steams up) has helped me in clearing my mind. I do this every time I am troubled or am dealing with a hard decision. It helps me relax and think clearer. Russell Simmons also mentioned that this is a technique he uses.
Yoga or Meditation
Every super positive and relaxed person I know does Yoga. I haven’t tried it yet but I’ve added that and Meditation to my to-learn-to-do list this year. Meditation helps quiet the mind and regain focus. Most executives that I know use this practice. (Will update the blog when I’ve begun practicing it and detail my experience and the results).
Take A Yearly Vacation with your besties:
Last year for Christmas I took one of my besties to the Domincan Republic and we hung with the locals, swam with dolphins and shopped. A week later, I took my other bestie to Jamaica and we had the best time ever. While she went on daily excursions and experienced the night life, I spent my days resting on the beach and getting spa treatments. It was so relaxing but it was also my way of finding time to spend with my girls after missing their birthdays and important dates like college graduations. I felt so guilty that I hadn’t been there for them because of work. I made a conscious decision this year to not let my work come in the way of sharing those important monumental moments with my friends again. My friends and I also plan to take one trip together every year from now on.
Sidenote: For those who can’t afford huge trips, take a road trip with the besties or plan far ahead. My aunts took a trip to Mexico together to get away. Although they didn’t have much extra money, they found a travel agent who accepted a down payment on the trip and split the rest into small monthly payments leading up to their leave date. They had a blast together and it was the first time they had ever left the country.
Visit A Theme Park or Carnival:
Three of my college buddies came in town a few weeks ago and we went to Santa Monica to ride the Ferris Wheel. I can’t tell you how much fun we had. It took me back to being a kid again. A week later, I went with a few friends to Magic Mountain Six Flags and we rode almost every roller coaster in the theme park. Just a day or a few hours out of the week to re-visit your childhood is enough to get you re-energized.
Hiking
When I have time, I go to Malibu or Runyon Canyon and hike in the early mornings. It’s relaxing, a great work out and you get a chance to sort through your thoughts.
What do you like to do to unwind from work?
Hi, I'm Necole!
“your to cute to be a blogger”… I get what she’s saying look at Sandra Rose who seems to have alot of self hate so she dogs everyone else every chance she gets
My friends and I do the girls night out/in and the vacation. It’s refreshing
This was a great read!! I know what you mean!! It’s not easy juggling especially when you are career driven. Glad you worked it out! Thanks for the tips.
Just did a girls vacation in Vegas. Best time ever! Everyone needs to get away every so often to recharge and have a fresh outlook on things.
Sounds soo nice 🙂 one day I’ll be able to do stuff like this…
have u tried hot yoga…its kinda difficult but i liked iit!
I’ve never heard of that. What is it? Wait is it when they do the yoga in a really hot, almost steamy room?
Good blog thanks so much for the encouragement. I too work long hours. I just started doing girls nite
I think as women we get wrapped up into our families, jobs, etc….that we forget about ourselves. I know that I have. Last year I watched my husband take trips with his friends and go out of town to his brother’s football games and I was at home wondering how the hell were we going to afford this. I got mad and said I would never again defer having fun. Life is way too short! Enjoy it while you are here. Make new memories. Right now…I want to make a career change. I’m just trying to figure out how to make that happen.
It called Bikram Yoga. Its basically yoga in steamy room… Its really relaxing once u continue to go… The first class cn be a little rough… But its well worth it… I’ve been doing it for 2wks now and I feel the difference in how my clothes fit!… Bikram yoga is a must try 🙂 enjoy ur day… And I love ur site!…
I find a lot of people who have Made it already saying things like this. ALl i can say is congrats. You’ve made it to the point in life where you can live and enjoy. meanwhile, I’ll continue working what feels like more than full time while blanancing being a full time graduating college student.
maybe these statements are only for those who have made it and I should stop thinking they’re for everyone. they almost annoy me. Like, everyone isn’t there yet. so I’ll do my mini living until I’m there.
@Mikki I’ve come a long way. Click on the personal journey category or go back to my 2008 blogs and you will see it wasn’t always peaches and creams. However, you change the way you think, and you will slowly change your life. If we are always thinking we don’t have enough, then we will never have enough. It wasn’t until I started visualizing how I wanted my life to be that things started aligning themselves. Another good blog you should read is my personal entry on The Law Of Attraction.
@Mikki How could you possibly be negative to a post that is telling you to relax? And then listed ways to do it even in which, two ways that are listed are free. Not only that, you can “relax. relate. and release.” for free by yourself or with friends. For example going to the park just to walk around, or to enjoy nature and sit on the bench and talk to your girlfriends. I promise, promise, promise you if you just give positive energy a chance that you will LOVE IT. I read a quote today that said “how could finding peace have been so simple as choosing it?” love.
@Necole I love your spirit. And please dont stop making post like this. I appreciate you. Also, I am waiting on the remaining parts of your story about your journey. Thank You.
Such a great read. This post has me feeling like I could squeeze in some more downtime for myself even if its for a few hrs. I def enjoy girl trips I try and do 2 a yr..but the spa is now of interest to me since I’ve been going to the gym. Necole, your journey is absolutely motivational and I def feel like its just begun!
To Necole and Aaliyah,
I’m in no way being negative toward Necole. I’m a huge supporter. like i said, congrats! i’ve been following you for a long time. Blogs, twitter facebook, etc. What I’m saying is, when i hear people make comments about “living” they’re at a comfortable spot in their life while others aren’t there yet so they grind grind grind -not saying that you don’t- and will eventually live the way they would like. It’s a goal to be able to “live” and I can’t wait until I’m there.
To say the least, looking at people “living” and truely enjoying their success only makes me push harder to get there!
@necole, I’ve read your personal journal and it’s amazing that you’ve come so far and it’s very inspiring. 🙂 No negative energy.
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Further domestic after for concoct:
http://scott.projects.telrock.org