I called one of my best friends a few weeks ago and she ended up being a wreck. The conversation began with her telling me “we are always two different places in our lives” before she broke down in tears. She then proceeded to tell me how she is struggling with work, her home life with her mom and sister, the feeling of being lonely, bills are piling up, and to top it off she feels as though she’ll never find Mr. Right, and get married and yada yada yada.
While she talked, I sat back and accessed her situation. From the outside looking in, I saw a girl late 20’s who was doing WELL for herself. She just graduated from school and obtained her degree after taking a long break in her 20’s. She was actually working in her field Biology in a lab working on a considerable study to find a cure. About 7 years ago when I met her she lived in a two bedroom apartment with four family members and I watched them move from that small apartment to a mid sized home to a HUGE beautiful house in an affluential neighborhood and guess who’s name was on the deed. HERS! Right then and there I was experiencing a case of someone who spent so much time comparing themselves to people around them and where they felt they should be that they didn’t even have the time to sit back and be thankful for the things that they were blessed with. YES, she was blocking her blessings.
So after telling her how proud i was of her and listing all the things she has accomplished since we’ve known each other, she still wasn’t really hearing it. So the first thing that I suggested was that she wake up every morning and write down every thing that she’s blessed to have. Whether it’s family, good friends, a roof over her head etc. Second, I told her to send me a list of things she would like to accomplish in the next six months for herself with a date of completion and if she reached her goals, I’d take her on a nice trip. I then shared my secret with her, which is my vision book.
What is that? Well, I’ve noticed that I’m a huge visualizer. When I was younger, I used to sit and day dream about everything. The way I wanted my life to be, the boyfriend I wanted and so on, and I would always visualize it into existence (if that makes sense). This year alone is a perfect example. In December of last year when my life was knocked off balance, I sat and visualized what I wanted to happen in 2008. Where I wanted to live, where I wanted my site to be, what I wanted to accomplish and that helped me to exceed every single goal that I had set for myself at the top of the year. It’s not that I’m a psychic or someone with magical powers because I’m not. Visualizing things constantly helps you to stay focused on what it is you want for yourself and helps you shut out the things that would prevent you from obtaining them. LIke if you visualize a car that you want, but then allow that thought to come in, but I’ll NEVER be able to afford it, I might not even have a job at the end of the year….You are preventing yourself from actually obtaining those things because of those negative thoughts.
I read ALOT of magazines, but my favorite are Black Enterprise (because I love reading about Black Entrepreneurs) and Uptown Magazine, which is a magazine geared towards the affluent african american. Half the stuff in Uptown is pricey, but everything that I set my eyes on that I want (whether it be a car, a vacation home, a pair of shoes) I cut out of the magazine and place it in my vision book. There are little stickers that I place in there too to make it all pretty. I even surprised myself and placed a picture of a wife and groom in there before and under that, a woman hugging her child. The vision book was a project I started for fun one day while sitting on my bedroom floor surrounded by magazines but it evolved into something much bigger for me. Especially when you go back through the book months later and realized you’ve obtained some of the things you’ve placed in that book. The feeling is Golden. I look through it every now and again, just as a reminder of where I want to be, what I want to have, and where I want to go…in life.
So I shared my vision book story with her. The next day she went out and brought “The Secret” and A scrap book ….
I called her a week later and I’m not sure where she was but she was very happy. I haven’t heard her sound so cheerful in like five years. My girl is a pessimist and she knows it..LOL! So the sound of her voice was a joyous moment for me that day.
She was like “girl my friends just showed me a picture of me when we were in college. I was sooo petite. They are going to have to give me this photo so I can put it in my vision book”
I just smiled and told her to call me when she can..
I can’t wait to take her on that vacation..
Resources
Vision Book
How To Make A Vision Board
How To Create an Empowering Vision Book
Hi, I'm Necole!
great idea i will have to try that
This is great Necole. Im actually looking forward to starting my vision book. Sometimes I have a lot of regrets because right after high school I went to college and dropped out my first semester. Even though I made myself a promise that I would enroll in 2000 and I did, now I have and associates in Sociology and next year I will have my Bachelors in Social Work. I own my home, I have 3 kids by the same man but Im single. I sometimes feel the way your friend was feeling by looking at others around me and comparing myself. I wish I could have did everything I wanted before I started having kids becasue I know it wouldn’t have been as stressful. I think my problem is wanting everything to happen now but thats not realistic, things dont happen over night.
I am what you could call a “silent reader”, for I read both of your blogs, but never comment. I have viewed your speech online and I must say you are amazing. I am soo happy that you brought this up, for I had started a vision file on my laptop but abandoned it, even purchased the secret for myself but let the things around me control me instead of me controllin’ me. This entry definitely is what I needed and I appreciate you for reaffirming that this definitely works..it just starts with us believing from the inside out.
So thank you!
Hell,
I need a vision book…cause right now I can’t see past my own misery:-(
HOTTNESS!!! and i have mad magazines…ohhh yeah you found your assistant i will move to ATL…no money, my cousin’s place to dwell, and ramen…all i need i made it thru college and in chicago i can do ANYTHING! lmao…how did i get all the way in october…weird!
That is such a great idea to have a vision book, everyone needs something, that can help them reach their goals, & let them know that non goal is unattainable.
A friend of mine recent suggested this idea to me (but mine is a board instead of a book) and started it right before the New Year and this is the first time I’m really feeling empowered facing this upcoming year rather than being all willy nilly. I definitely can attest to setting goals be changing your mindset. For years I’ve been out of school and complaining about not being able to purse this job or that job cause of lack of degree. I finally got off of my @$$ after first visualizing myself getting my degree and leading to new opportunities. It really does start all with getting our minds right and having a visual reminder only can help to drive closer to our dreams.
I was in a situation like your friend (focusing on what I felt like I lacked instead of counting and apprieciating my blessings). And my friend Anna played your role to tha tee LoL. Thank GOD for real friends like you guys to pull a sistah out of a mental rut!!! The Secret is awesome and I actually had TWO people give me the book within 2 days of me discovering it. I use my fridge as my vision board but a book is a good idea…
I was thinking about this [Vision Book] today while I was at my boyfriends house. I recently lost my marketing job at Amex, I live in a wonderful apartment that cost a lot in nyc, I am currently working on my online magazine and my marketing consulting company, and going back to get my MBA in Media Management. All those things are fabulous, but it seems like every time I move 5 steps forward an axe get thrown in my past. (i.e unemployment acting a damn fool with me) I know better, I know and understand the law of attraction: negative and positive! I believe seeing your past post about the vision book confirms that I need to get right to it…like RIGHT NOW!! Thank you Necole, you are an web entrepreneur inspiration. Continued Success and blessings!!